Run 601
Hares: DualAirBags (still with painted butt) & FullMetalBalls (still
sweating)
Location: Abandoned Train Tracks in Lorton, VA
Despite some confusing directions, a healthy throng of folks arrived to
celebrate (or continue celebrating) the BlueMoon/Anniversary Hash. You
could tell a lot by looking at folks' eyes - if you could find them and
if the stench of liquor was not too overpowering. Perhaps the most
interesting pre-trail story involved the arrival of NurseCrotchet and
PudNocker. NC claimed the splooge on her blue top was just toothpaste.
Heh, heh. You go Monica. The hash was betting that she finally got Pud
to christen her new car.
At last the hares were away. CunningRunt led the clan in a subdued
'Ather Abraham - out of respect for the throbbing heads in the crowd.
And then we were off, with thousands of dogs leading the way. It seems
every single dog-owning Hasher brought their beast with them today and
they were all up front. As usual, Beezer took a crap right in the middle
of the trail, not 250 yards from the start. Those still queasy from the
previous night's festivities started to moan causing Link to (aptly)
tell them not to look! Just then, and in keeping with his stellar
reputation, BurntSox arrived.
Trail wound up and down, twisting and turning through a number of
neighborhoods. The pace was greatly slowed - but Byte did maintain his
lead over YesDear throughout! 'Twas a nice and short jaunt that FMB used
to his full advantage. He ran us by his "other" house with big chalk
marks indicating that it was for sell or rent. And then, some 15 minutes
later we finished at the same location. Nothing like a handful of
Hasher's traipsing through a house to help get it sold.
It was here that the true half-minded nature of our Hash was
demonstrated. Steamer wandered about quite upset that there was no beer
at the finish. In fact, he was trying to start a coup to over throw the
current MisManagement. Then he remembered his days as MisManagement and
ran way. Now, did he check in the fridge for beer before going off on
this rampage? Hell no. Hasher logic in action : "If the beer isn't in a
cooler, then, well, there is no beer." Not to worry, Steamer is in good
company, right MellowForeSkinCheese? MFSC: "Who the hell puts beer in
the fridge?" Duh.
After treating the crowd to Mexican-type food (I have no idea what you
call the stuff), the rituals were begun. First, all the commoners were
forced out of the house and to the lower deck. Yes the house comes with
a two-tier deck. (And it is at a good price. See FMB for detail. Let's
see that is the second mention of the house and at $1/word, yep FMB you
owe me $300 for the promotionary material). Then from the upper deck,
the hares drank for an outstanding run. In anticipation of trouble from
Byte, he was brought to the upper deck for a time out.
Next up were the virgins. Shock and dismay. There was a virgin, even
after all that drinking and dancing the night before. Are we really
getting that old? We warmly welcomed Faline Phucas with open arms (and
open legs - to borrow from an old song). Visitors and Returners
included: LazeeMotherFucker, Terry Fenton, SingleWhiteEMale,
MichonBechamps, DukeMeier and Steamer'sBitch.
Anniversarians included: DukeMeier (5); DreamBeaver (5); BadDog (45);
MellowForeSkinCheese (50), Capt'nTitanic (175 - and who stayed long
enough to have to drink, for a change); DualAirBags (195); Dribbler
(205); HardDrive (345 - without having married his sister) and lastly,
BlankCheck (345).
There were to be two namings this fine day. DreamBeaver started to
explain how she was so monikered, but after mentioning that she and
PussyWhipped, well I think you get the picture. Besides, it is a way
cool name. This left Duke. It seems it has taken Duke some 5 or 6 years
to get enough runs to earn a name. He only stops by once a year - or so.
Thus, he left with a new handle - SantaClaus. (I think he was less than
thrilled. So, the naming committee gets another pat on the back.)
This left the Violators:
Drinking from the DeadChicken were SingleWhiteEMale and Steamer'sBitch -
no directions. They were closely followed by BiteMeElmo and RangerDick -
also no directions. If the directions are not in my hand by the time of
Saturday's violations, out comes the Dead (and stinking) Chicken.
NurseCrotchet - if you don't have enough to go ALL the way around....;
MellowForeSkinCheese and Steamer (being stupid about beer and cold and
refrigerators); Buddha (dropped food all over the carpeting - somehow he
missed his mouth); HollowPoint (eating Mexican food like an anglo - and
he still doesn't have any black friends); ColdSweat (can't tell a Hare's
arrow from a check); HawaiianPuke (not wearing a Hawaiian shirt during
the Hash); Hares (serving diet oreos); FullMetalBalls (having a house
with a pet door on the furnace room? And for wearing dirty shoes in the
house); Beezer and Steamer'sBitch (environmental - now this was just too
funny. Someone mentioned that Steamer'sBitch had peed on trail. They
were referring to Steamer's four legged bitch and well, I didn't know,
so SB had to drink. And rightly so.);
HashIt nominations were then held. 7Minutes was nominated because when
she found out that BlankCheck got home at 2AM and didn't get to sleep to
3AM she had to ask - "Well, what did you do all that time?" Newlyweds -
what are you going to do with them?; BurntSox (just cause); Hares (just
cause) and a special nomination for DualAirBags. On the trail she left a
note: "Head hurt Daddy?" As properly pointed out by Steamer, "Daddy"
told DABs not to use her teeth when giving head. Guess who won? DABs.
But it was a short lived victory. When the call for announcements went
out, BlackBox did not have any. BB now owns the HashIt. The lucky girl
actually has both the WhiteHouse and MountVernon HashIts at the same
time!
Then a Sweet & Sour note as we bade farewell to BurntSox and 7Minutes.
We will miss 7 Minutes a lot. To help ease the pain and to send her (and
him) off in style, they were presented with a plethora of gifts and
relics: a loverly photo-album with notes from most of the Hash on their
fondest remembrances; a set of Hashing Certificates; a BlueMoon t-shirt
signed by most of those in attendance the night before; a PoopDeck
Hashing calendar; and remembering how valiantly BS fought for it (and
lost) at the HolidayRun - a SharkBowl of their very own. BS's final
words to the hash...The Roof, The Roof....
And remember
186,000 mps - It's the law.
Dr. Jekyll