Those of us without a life arrived at the start, which, as predicted in
the 'Erections', really was some long-assed
distance whence we started. It was a relatively small, but congenial
group of regulars, irregulars, and OTH-ers. Oh
wait, that was redundant. Oh well. As a special treat today, we were
blessed with the presence of RotoRouter - the
Hasher, the myth, the legend. Many of you may not have noticed that Roto
never misses a run down the Prince William
way. Seem odd? Not when you realize it is the only place he can drive
his pick-em-up truck and pick-em up! Yep, it
is a real high-class vehicle down this-a-way. On the other hand, 6 Yen
Man arrived in grand style (seriously) in his
reconditioned 1966 Mustang. Boy does that bring back memories. This car
will turn heads no matter where you go. Can
you say JEALOUS! MEOW.
It wasn't long before the hares were off with an extra-special touch: Dual Air Bags dropped trou to reveal a blue-moon. WoooWeee. Oh to pinch those cheeks. Butt, alas, she and Byte continued on their way and the hash turned back to its business. Today, that business seemed focussed on Bite-Me-Elmo: 10 or so young lads were showering the budding princess with lavish attention. What gives? She was overheard asking Lowell Sachs (non-virgin) if he had any diseases he would like to pass on. Even worse, she was also heard to say that just because she is a hasher that doesn't mean she is shallow. So does that mean she is deep? Hmmm.
Finally the torment ended and we started walking, well, expect for Steamer and Lucy. Lucy was annoyed that MissingLink (who was doing that race-walking thing where it looks like there is a stick up your butt, with a ham sandwich and mustard) was ahead and pulled Steamer along in a half-jog. The Scribe duly noted the violation, which caused Steamer to begin to whine. Tsk. Tsk. Chances were pretty good the Scribe would have forgotten the whole incident by the time trail ended if Steamer hadn't started with the whining.
As we rounded the corner of the shopping center, there was a hare's arrow pointing right. So, MissingLink went left. (Damned if he didn't show-up a few minutes later way out in front of the pack!) The rest of us followed true trail and just as the call to begin running was made, we espied NunKnocker (OTH) up ahead. NK was shortcutting BIG TIME. Unfortunately, at the next check, NK longcut believing the finish to be at the Horner Road Parking lot. At least he had a good attitude about it when he finally came wondering in to the finish.
Trail made a left at the next check and took us through a small construction site across a busy street (of which there were many) through a one of those U-Store-Em places and into the woods where we met up with MissingLink. A couple of hills later we emerged back into civilization. At this point many of the FRBs were quite turned about. So we turned to MissingLink for expert guidance on trail directions. ML was only too happy to oblige and headed us all in the right direction.
Somehow the trail ended up going behind a bunch of townhouses and then back out to another road. Here we were greeted by some ditzy, faux blonde who mistook the FRB's calls of ON-ON for a group searching for a lost dog. There is a big disconnect here if you ask me, but, that is just me. Anyway, she was most interested in what we were doing, especially when she heard that we were running to find beer. However, when she grabbed her "love handles" and started talking about working them off, we left....post haste!
Having gotten the straight-ahead signal from MissingLink, the FRBs sped off, up a small dirt hill and into the grandeur of an honest-to-goodness Prince William deluxe trailer park. Fearing that whistles in this neighborhood could lead to gunplay, we hustled through as quickly and quietly as possible. Then a quick turn up a dirt hill and on in to the finish, in the middle of the Prince William version of the Sahara Desert. It an odd twist for MVH3, the runners and the walkers finished at the same time. Proper prior planning or dumb luck? Dumb luck.
As the sun beat down upon the Hash, we drank, we mooned the folks stuck in traffic on Prince William Parking lot, drank some more, swatted at some of the annoying and ever more prevalent yellow jackets, and then drank some more. A good time was being had by all.
The rituals began as always with the hares being called forward to drink, which they did. VIRGINS today included: Gary Griesmyer, Twanyai Tencati and Kari Bartlett. A handful of visitors were also present: CumsQuickly, Frank Whitlach, Pyscho, Jockstrap, and Vick Fisher.
Next to step forward were the Returners: BlownInTheWind, BlondeRoots, and NunKnocker. There were also ANNIVERSARIANS: HairyBuddah (85), Captain T (169, and who cut out early from the DownDowns yet again) and CheapSlut (435, who played the role of BlankCheck, ratting out everyone he possibly could for violations! Just so you know who your real friends are!).
There was a weak attempt at naming Lowell Sachs. Perhaps our brains were sun-baked, or beer-feebled, but the best we could do was HandHeldUnit. It was decreed that Lowell would be allowed this name only until next week, when perhaps we can give him a truly obnoxious name. THINK.
VIOLATIONS (courtesy of CheapSlut and his new beer-can holder. He was just like a new Papa with this thing. Except I didn't think Dads did that kind of stuff to their kids!): Lucy (premature running); Steamer (whining); ByteMeElmo (dating Marv Albert); RotoRouter (self immolation with a BBQ; failing again to kill someone - the Japanese Ambassador at the Pentagon); HollowPoint (being a Lazy-Assed SOB); and DualAirBags (LateSignIn and pseudo-Scribing...see below). There was ruckus about MissingLink not carrying the HashIt and so he was re-awarded the vaunted item for the upcoming week.
After a bunch of boring announcements about Hashes to be, we did receive some good news: BlankCheck and RutRo are now officially engaged! Congratulations and Best Wishes from us all.
With that, my work here is done and I am going to go lie down. Too much excitement.
And remember...
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
D.J. --------------------------------------- Subject: Sat Run - Hares=Dual Airbags and HO
Ah, Prince William county in northern Va. A finer county
to live in cannot be found for miles and miles. Our communites have lots
to do for people with all interests especially Hash House Harriers. For
runners of all levels, our streets are LONG but well paved. A hasher
can be guaranteed that a trail on county streets may seem very long indeed
but on the brighter side there are lots of businesses that trails
can be wound through. And the nice thing is you will probably recieve
a fine "what the hell are you people doing?" from most of our
business owners. Wooded areas are also plentiful in these here parts but the
paths through them are not always well trodden. One may even get the chance to
see a rabbit or two or some loose mangy dog or even some loose punks
here and there. The punks are no longer an endagered species here on Prince
William county, they breed like mice-7 or eight per mother. Punks are
classified as "dangerous" as one can never predict what they are really up to or
will do next. This leads to the housing developments in the local area.
Most have been around awhile so there are plenty of wlak paths and grassy
knolls to run in. A fine view of most families in their back yards can be
seen from these paths and while not strong on appearance the sense of neglect
and dissaray is rampant. And finally what is a run down here in Prince William
County without winding through our most beloved parks - trailor parks. Last
evening a Big African American and a short Caucasion Woman were seen tearing
through one of our finer trailor parks. When questioned, most residence
said, " I just know that black guy raped that poor woman and I bet she is still
out in them woods yonder but I ain't gonna look for her. She shouldn't a
been joggin with him". When asked why they didn't call the police the most
common response was "why it ain't none of my business". I tell you a fine,
fine area to live and hash through...
on-on
DAB