MVH3 TRASH: March 21, 1998
The Weekly Journal of the Morally Corrupt Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers
Join Mismanagement: Elections Scheduled For March 28
All members of the current mismanagement strongly encourage members of the pack to run for one of the fine mismanagement jobs.
Imagine, you could be the scribe, the on-sec, the joint master, or even the religious advisor. Or any of the other
mismanagement positions.
Please contact Wide Open if you are interested in running. Elections are set for March 28.
On-on
The Current Mismanagement
Hash Defiles Mason Temple, Celebrates Burnt Sox/ 7 Minute Wedding
By Yes Dear
Hash Scribe
Old Town -- Free Masons worldwide have declared war the Hash House Harriers after the MVH3 defiled George Washington’s temple by starting a hash there.
In fact, Mount Vernon didn’t just begin the run there -- which was hared by spouses-to-be Burnt Sox and 7 Minutes -- but it then hashed through the grounds twice. No Free Masons were available for comment because they feared this super sleuth scribe would learn their secret handshakes.
The pack gathered on an overcast and cold morning in the parking lot behind the shrine. Wankers Aweigh and Dual Airbags tried to lead the pack in F'ther Abe. But after the ``heave,’’ they suddenly stopped. Religious adviser Wide Open jumped in to save the pack, leading us through the ``ho’’ part.
We were soon off on trail. Hash hounds Beezer and Bullwinkle grabbed an early lead and led the pack to a quick check. Hot Legs was headed downhill from a different direction to the check, prompting the pack to turn right into a BT. We reversed course, ran past Hot Legs, where Missing Link got us on true trail.
We snaked through the neighborhood, with FRBs Cunning Runt, Dr. Jeckyll, Tore Ass, and Cork Screw tracking down the flour. Hard Drive alternated between FRB and social coordinator as he'd come blazing past, only to be found a few blocks later walking and yapping.
Trail cut through a park and crossed a stream. Bullwinkle decided to swim as Milk Money and Roto Router came racing past, pursued closely by Scoop and Hairball, who was decked out as Davy Crocket.
Trail turned left on Duke Street and the pack headed into Old Town. Running with Happy Helmet of the Maryland Dirt Road and BAH3, we passed the metro, passed Blank Check and hit several checks. True trail must have zigzagged because Bullwinkle and I managed to catch up to Dr. Jeckyll, Missing Link, and Cunning Runt.
We essentially ran a giant U, running toward the Potomac on streets south of King Street and then returning via a zigzag pattern along the roads north of King. Mud Buns and Dirty & Hairy were in a nonstop private party during the return. I caught up to Scoop and then got run over by Hairy Buddha, who soon charged past. All of the sudden, Scoop and I were anchoring the pack. We climbed Mt. Washington Temple and caught up with part of the pack. Bullwinkle ran out to play with the dogs in the dog park, then decided to run on and hash without me. Fortunately, she was soon corralled and we went on-in to a party room at an apartment complex.
Cold keg beer, plenty of soda, and make-your-own sandwiches awaited. We even had a wedding cake. Wankers and Dual Airbags filled up the cups with beer and Wide Open began the circle. Anniversaries included: For Sale or Rent 25, Loan Shark 145, Cork Screw 145, Mud Buns 145, Wankers 195, and Dr. Jeckyll 245. Virgins Peter Koltay, Stacia Gilding, Charlie Fisenne, and Fay Leeland joined us. Visitors Bruce and Erica -- engaged friends of Burnt Sox and 7 Minutes -- also were present.
Returning were Hot Lunch, Section Eight, Spread Em, Glad He Ate Her, Happy Helmut, soon-to-be-named Tastes Great, Less Filling, and Topless Skateboarding Nun.
We had two namings. Abier became Tastes Great, Less Filling after we rejected Six Pack, Give me a ..., Dos XX, and How’s Your Busch. Cums and Goes kept her OTH name.
Violators included Indecent Proposal for not smoking for a year, Screws Everybody for a birthday, the hares for being snared, Wankers and Pinky Pennis for snaring the hares and then asking how to get back on trail, Spread Sheets for a racing shirt, Hard Drive for failing to be quote in the American Airlines magazine article on hashing, and Hyman Dickover for putting his finger in the cake. We also had three hashers in dresses in honor of the wedding: Peter Coltate, Hyman Dickover, and Bramble Bush.
That’s all I wrote. On-on.
Mud Buns, Dirty & Hairy to Hare March 28; Never Gave Directions
Hares
Mud Buns, Dirty & Hairy
Date/Time
March 28, 10 a.m.
Directions
Wish we knew. Even called Thursday night in a last ditch effort to get
directions. Oh well. Get out the rubber chicken.
Important Stuff From Mismanagement About the Mount Vernon Hash
You Can’t Drink All Day if You Don’t Get Up Early.
Noncompetitive fun run. Costs $4. 4 to 6 miles. Hash goes rain, snow, sleet, or sun. Keys, gear, dry shoes, etc., can be left at the start and will meet hashers at the end.
Hares must e-mail or phone directions at least 10 days before the run to both Yes Dear and Scoop to avoid the rubber chicken. Trails are assumed to be dog friendly unless explicitly noted in the directions.
Scribes take no responsibility for accuracy of this publication.
Hash Hotline: 202-PUDJAMO, #6 for directions that are updated by Thursday. Or visit the web site at http://patriot.net/~djk/mvh3
Receding Hare Line .........
Run 553/ March 21 Capt Titanic, assorted virgins
Run 554/ March 28 Mudbuns, Dirty & Hairy
Run 555/ April 4 Spread Sheets & Co.
Run 556/ April 11 Hard Drive
Run 557/ April 18 Stained Sheets & Co.
Run 558/ April 25 Scoop, Yes Dear
Run 559/May 2 Dr Jekyl, Cunning Runt
Run 560/ May 9 Mismanagement (AGM)
Mismanagement ...............
Joint Masters:
Mark `Steamer’ Stoffel: 703-516-2176
Calvin `Byte Lightening’ Brown: 703-590-6794 byteru@aol.com
Religious Adviser:
Stan `Wide Open’ Jozwiak: 703-239-0615
Co-Scribes:
Karen `Scoop’ Reid: 703-836-3839 Scoopwwc@AOL.com
Jaret `Yes Dear’ Seiberg:
301-890-1348 seiberg@tfn.com
On-Sec:
Jim `Full Metal Balls’ Fenton: 703-339-5528
Hash Cash:
Eric `French Toasted’ Geyer: 703-425-0769
Hare Raiser:
Dave `Wankers Aweigh’ Bertagnoli: 703-685-0338
Haberdashers:
Nancy `Pit Stop’ Geyer 703-719-0157
Tia `Dual Airbags’ Perry: 703-878-7030
EXTRA: AGM Run Set for May 8 to 10; Discount if Pay Early
The flyers are out and the annual AGM run is nearly upon us. Festivities begin with a pub crawl/run Friday night. Saturday features a great trail, down-downs, dinner, dancing, and lots of beer. Wake up Sunday to a run, breakfast, and more beer. You'll even get a collectible give away.
Turn in your registration at an MVH3 run by April 25 and pay only $37. Or mail it by April 30 and pay $39. We even have a procrastinators special -- $45 at the door or after April 30.
So turn up, have fun, and drink.
On-on