No Flour, Who Cares…Hares host most memorable ONON -ON
Hares: Continental Drip, Steamer, Roto Router
The words “no flour” will forevermore be synonymous with Saturday’s Hash. On this chilly morning the deviants gathered behind the University Strip Mall near George Mason University each bouncing and chattering as the wind chill made the temperature seem much colder than it actually was. Cunning Runt’s blue lips were telling as she shivered away any remaining body fat she may have accumulated in the past week. Byte, the Ho, apparently too sexy for his shirt, stripped down to his “Ho” sweatshirt and led the anxious hashers in Father Abraham. Soon the pack was off and walking through the parking lot and into a subdivision where the pack split at a check. Blue Balls, Lady Bugger, Three Times a Lady and Quick Drawers went off with the rest of the pack straight down a street to check and the other half of the half minds along with Stroke, Straddle, Hurl and Stained Sheetz went left. The pack became one again as the two streets came together and trail crossed a busy intersection. Wide Open found trail across a parking lot and onto the George Mason Campus. At this point Poop Deck, Camel Jumper, Milk Money and I decided to follow Hollow Point on a short-cut around a wet, muddy field. Mistake. We ended up completely off trail and never found flour again. Fortunately we were not the only souls doomed to a flourless trail. Meanwhile, back at the batcave, the rest of the pack was having a bit of trouble picking up any scent of flour after the Beer/Water Stop. (Since when did Mt. Vernon start having Beer checks? I’m starting to think we may become a real hash after all). The FRBs allegedly couldn’t finish the trail because there was no flour laid within a 15 foot radius of the check. Tisk, Tisk, Lazy, Lazy, FRBs. Roto disputed this “no flour” claim later in an email to the entire hash but was accused of electronic whining and made to do a virtual down-down.
The circle was run by Blank Check and Wide Open. Anniversarians were Keyhole - 5, Milk Money - 65, French Toasted - 125, Cunning Runt - 200, Red Snapper - 205, Roto Router - 250, and Stained Sheets - 350. We had a few virgins, Diane Maurice, Kim Schwartz, Rick Seale, Jim Scanlon and Joe. Boner visited us from the Atlanta Hash House Harriers. Lady Bugger, Blank Check, and Eat Me for Breakfast were returners. We had a naming after only three runs. Just Susie was named Bramble Bush for her uncanny ability to find briars and prickers. There were numerous violations. Dr. Strangelove, Wide Open, Hawaiian Puke and See Dick Run apparently didn’t stop at the H2O/Beer Stop. Wilburr, Bavarian Bush, Hollow Point, and Captain Titanic whined about the Groundskeeper. 3xA Lady dropped his scrotum on trail. Snowfairy got caught with an environmental, Burnt Sox for stealing a Washington Post coin drop box, and Mud Buns for flushing her hash glove down the toilet. Poop Deck for following Scoop and getting lost. Byte for being a fashion statement. Harddrive for being a friend of the hares and not finding trail and Quick Drawers for sweeping.
The On-On-On was one of the best in hash memory. In fact many die-hards stayed until 5:00 pm. It was getting ugly way earlier than that when Roto started making claims of having sex two - three times a night. We don’t know if he’s counting the times by himself or not. Snowfairy left the On On On with one less item of clothing. She was kind enough to donate her sports bra to the array of sexy, lacy, slinky, little black bras hanging from the ceiling, making the bra collection at Fat Tuesday’s a diverse and multicultural one. If the management at Fat Tuesday’s thought that killing the keg would drive this group of smelly hashers away they were wrong. The crowd stayed and passed away a perfectly good afternoon in a drunken stupor.
On-On,
Scoop