What is it about crossing the Potomac into Maryland that makes my blood pressure skyrocket? Let me dispell any misconceptions anyone may have - - Road Rage is real. Don't be a victim. And definitely stay out of my way when traveling 270. I want to get the hell off that highway as quickly as possible. I won't be responsible for my actions. You have all been warned. I also wanted to include an map of the Mount Vernon area. I know we have all been reminded of this before but we are the MOUNT VERNON Hash House Harriers and it would be nice to run on home turf, so to speak. This map is included for your convenience. I thought if we all knew exactly where Mt. Vernon was there would be less confusion later when someone takes the initiative to set a trail in this area. After saying a couple of novitas on the road I pulled into the WEIS Market parking lot just as soft, misty rain began to fall threatening my neatly coiffed do. Thanks to No Class I was able to borrow a bright orange rain poncho. "They'll call you a condom, but don't worry, you'll be dry." she warned. Sure enough, not two minutes later Full Metal Balls made some juvenile condom reference regarding my apparel. Roto and Blank Check were busily recruiting Red Dress early registration prospects from the group of hashers assembled. Stained Sheets told me that they had more than 200 pre-registrations and more were pouring in daily! Red Dress Mania, be there. Well, Byte led us in the hokey-pokey version of Father Abraham and then we were off on trail. I decided to stay with the walkers today as I had yet to recover from a vicious virus that had invaded my body through what I think was an evil, satanic, demon disguised as Thai food. Unfortunely, I'll never be able to eat it again. Too bad, but when you're throwing up noodles through your nose Thai tends to lose its appeal. As if it ever had any anyway. Trail went through some woods and then out onto a set of railroad tracks. Most of the pack had blown past so we called out to Harry Buddah who was running up the tracks. We had lost trail and we thought he was on. Of course he was just running ahead for no apparent reason and Three x a Lady spotted flour across the tracks. We followed trail through a subdivision and stopped at a couple of garage sales in search of a red dress or two but to everyones dismay none were found. It was about this time that I realized that the "walkers" were actually running. If I had been able to stay for the down-downs I would have given you all violations for being FRB wannabees. Thankfully, Steel Trap and Late Cummer stayed back with me and walked! I think at one point though they were discussing leaving me, I caught one of them mumbling something about Darwin's theory and I suddenly found myself feeling like a pathetic, wounded, animal on a bad PBS safari in Africa documentary. Trail led to where Run 528 ended, Missing Link was manning a water stop and informed us that the rest of the trail was only a couple of miles long so I decided to go on. I spotted Black Box, Red Snapper, and Hot Legs at the front of the pack as we headed down into another housing subdivision. Spread Sheets and French Toasted crossed the road and joined the pack Beer Near was located and trail ended. At the circle many violations were handed out. Bad Dog and Cheap Slut were sighted for late sign in. Big Bird Turd -whining, Steamer and Little Lucy - environmental; Bad Dog - new shoes; Burning Bush - ran thru a BT; Perk-a-Set - double fashion statement; Sweet Cheeks - sleeping through the run; Dual Air Bags - falling on trail; Steel Trap - using makeup at on-in; Cheap Slut - 52nd birthday. The hash-it was passed from Roto to Steamer for having a painted small toe or toenail? - I wasn't quite sure from the notes left for me! On-On,Scoop The Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers