Saturday morning cums all too early after a Friday night happy hour turns into an all nighter.
Camel Jumper and I drug our sorry asses out of bed, tired and hung over for what we expected to
be yet another grueling Mt. Vernon run. We were not disappointed. Yes, Summer is finally
here and one rule of hashing to follow is that if you feel like youÆre going to lose bowel control
on a run, stop and walk for awhile. But, since we all know that there are no rules in hashing, go
ahead and shit yourself. There'll still be beer at the end.
And beer there was! A new Mt. Vernon record was set after this Killer Bee Run when the hash
went through 7 cases of brew. Pretty impressive for this group of wankers. The run started at
Williamsburg Middle School and, let me digress here and tell you all that the directions sucked.
We had to pull over and get out the map just to find the damn place which was just around the
corner. That made for pleasant driving chit-chat as I searched for the ôf-ingö map.
Upon our arrival I noticed that all of our GM's were MIA and thank goodness Dual Air Bags
and Pit Stop were responsible enough to take up this unforgivable slack and lead us all in Father
Abraham.
The pack was led in the wrong direction immediately by Hard Drive but fortunately true trail
was spotted and a distant ôon-onö was heard. Soon we were all on trail, and then we werenÆt.
The pack blew through the first few checks but somehow lost it at a check near the creek.
Everyone was milling about waiting for someone one to yell "on-on." Pay Per View kept us
amused by showing off her newly pierced belly-button. (ouch!) Finally, someone spotted hash at
the end of a cul-de-sac and the pack was off and sliding down a steep embankment to a trail
which led to a creek and a tunnel. I must have short-cutted because I never hit the tunnel. Rats
Ass and I caught up with the pack cumming out of the woods where Octopussy, FKA Squiddley
Diddley, told the tale of a water moccosin sighting. This got my adrenaline pumping and I
vowed to stay away from any and all water on the remainder of the trail.
As my belabored breathing was hampered more so by the high pollen count, I felt a swoosh of
air come up from behind me, a blurred figure to my left and then nothing but dusty trail in front
of me. It was none other than one of our beloved GM, Byte Lighting joining the pack as a late
cummer.
The on-in was a welcome sight where the hares set out a nice spread of good eats and plenty of
beer. Then it was time for the circle. Now, let me just say that there are many of you out there
that feel that justice has been served. After years of hash heckling, Byte Lighting was truly a Ho
and somehow could not regain his composure after the first down-down! It is true that good
things cum to those who wait. Isn't life ironic.
The Hares drank, the Grand Masters drank, all the Bill Waggoners drank. No one was feeling
left out. When one hasher drank all hashers drank. When it was all said and done, it was good
to get the hell out of there and go home.
There were a few virgins amongst us: Naomi Charboneau, Rat's Ass (Kevin Garlow), Doris
Futrell, and Stuart Stein. There were many anniversaries - Next Week - 5, Ralph - 5, Abir
Burgul - 5 Squiddley Diddley - 6, Cold Sweat - 125 and Poop Deck - 185.
There were some who came to visit: Julie, Gonzalo, Luis, Tony, Jeanne-Marie, Tad and some
who returned to us from long absences: Nocturnal Emissions, Mellow Forskin Cheese, RAZ,
Flat Ass, Physical Terrorist, Slot Machine, Helmut Head, Hooter Tutor, Joe Ferreira, Cyclops,
Hans Solo, For Sale or Rent.
And then there were the Violators: Dr. Jeckly and Roxy Moron - peeing in the bathtub (don't
invite these two over to a pool party), Abir - visiting on trail (is it an environmental when you
stop to take a pee in someoneÆs house on trail?) Dual Airbags - pretending to be important by
talking on her cell phone at the start. Ralph - Too many hashes without being named. Pay Per
View - body piercing. Byte, Burnt Sox, and Next Week - Late cummers, Next Week - auto
hashing. Physical Terrorist - Loudly announcing that her skivvies were wet. Hard Drive and 3
Times A Lady - fashion statement, Blank Check and Roto (actually Rutro) - sex in the Parking
Lot. Hares - for getting caught.
On-On
Scoop