Mount Vernon  

Hash House Harriers

"if you don't start in the morning you can't drink all day"

HASH TRASH

May 24, 1997 Hash 511

Weekly Journal of the Lifestyles of the Morally Bankrupt

If it ain't a live hare, it ain't Mount Vernon.

Non-competitive fun run: $4, 4-6 miles. Hash goes rain, snow & heat. Keys, gear & etc. can be left at the start and will meet hashers at the finish.

Hash Hotline: Call (202) PUDJAM0, #6 for directions to the hash.

MISMANAGEMENT

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Joint Masters

Mark "Steamer" Stoffel (703) 516 2176

Calvin "Byte Lightning" Brown (703) 590-6794

Religious Advisor

Stan "Wide Open" Jowzwiak (703) 239-0615

Scribe/Subscribe

Karen "Scoop" Reid (703) 836-3839

Jaret "Yes Dear" Seiberg (301) 890-1348

On-Sec

Jim "Full Metal Balls" Fenton (703) 339-5528

Hash Cash

Eric "French Toasted" Geyer (703) 425-0769

Hare Raiser

Dave "Wankers Aweigh" Bertagnoli (703) 685-0338

Haberdasher & Co-Haberdasher

Nancy "PitStop" Geyer (703) 719-0157

Tia "Dual Air Bags" Perry (703) 878-7030

RECEDING HARE LINE

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Run 514 Jun 14 Stained Sheets, Bump & Gump,

Kimo and Ass Licker

Run 515 Jun 21 Steamer and Wide Open

Run 516 Jun 28 French Toasted & Continental Drip

Run 517 Jul 5 OPEN OPEN OPEN

HARE PIECES

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HASH #513

LONE HARE: Hard Drive

DATE/TIME/COST: 7 Jun 97/10:00 am/$ 4.00

LOCATIONS/DIRECTIONS:

Take 495 (Outer Loop) to Rte 123S towards Tysons Corner. As you exit the ramp, stay in the right lane and bear write at the next light onto Tysons Blvd. At the next lite, beer rite onto Galleria Dr. Follow curving road to next lite and tern right onto Jones Branch Dr. Continue on Jones Branch Dr. ~ 1/2 mi. to 7925. Turn left into 7925 (LCC - Leadless Chip Component?) and park in the back/left side of the building. Look for deviants milling about.

Hash 511 May 24, 1997

Hares: Byte Lightning and Dual Air Bags

There were rumors that the curse of the Hash after AGM was lives on. Would there be repeat of death march that was laid by Tore Ass and More Leggs last year? Would there be an Alzheimer hash laid by the Over The Hill Gang? Hares Dual Air Bags and Byte Lightning took up the guantlet and were task to defy tradition and put on a un-offendable hash.

Blank Check noted that the Scribe, Scoop and Subscribe, Yes Dear were missing. Hounds, Contempt of Court and Bullwinkle were not to be seen. With no hare for July 5, you'd think Wankers Aweigh would be hareraising or at least show up. Hairy Buddha was denying any knowledge of the hash trash whereabouts. Full Metal Balls was seen sitting on the tailgate of his open air love machine manning not only the sign in book but also the cash. Where was French Toasted? Spread Sheets cornered him and gave him shoe boxes and shoe boxes of bank statements, receipts, and cancelled checks from the last ten years. I'm sure FT can the handle the audit. Steamer and No Class arrived with smiles on their faces. It appears that (Little) Lucy had her first successful ride without puking in the back seat. Burnt Sox arrived with much fanfare. His AGM resolution was to arrive at a hash before the pack was off. This was an event because not only did he arrive to MVH3 early, he also arrived at FULL mOOn Hash the previous nite early as well. With that, Wide Open led the pack in 'Ather 'Abraham. You know I must wonder, with Byte out of sight, he still cannot escape the thralls of "Byte's a Ho". And off we were.

Something told me this was OTH3 territory and those crosshashers Missing Link and Full Metal Balls would be doing some serious shortcutting. More on that later. The exit out of Kmart was down a steep slippery slope rigged with a rope (very reminiscent of a Bush Master trail) to aid the hashers with their rappelling techniques. Unfortunately, I didn't see the rope until I was 2/3 of the way down and there was no cutting in line in this line. And Steamer decided to buttsurf it down. DAB and BL broke the curse because this hash was very well marked and on established trails which were lined with every hashers' favorite plant, poison ivy. There were unhashlike beer checks of empty discarded beer cans. There were 3 S/L checks. More than once I got caught up with the FRB's as they were returning from the BT's that the hares took perversed pleasure in laying.

There were no M/L's or FMB's chalked in the woods. That's when I figured out those guys knew how to circumvent this area because of their inhashuous behavior. But Burning Bush came to the rescue. Not only did he mark trail with branches, he was seen running with an armload of branches and twigs. Watch out Bush Master, Bush Wacker may trade you in for this hasher who marks for the pack. Too bad he couldn't mark the black slithering snake that wanted a nibble of PitStop's ankle. Boy can that girl jump when she see a long black thing. No not Byte you ninny, the snake.

Upon the 3rd S/L check, one had to think: which was the short, the horizontal distance around the fence or the vertical distance over the fence. With Beer Near and On In, the nirvana began. Black Box complained the trail was too short. You know what that means, a long hasher trail and a very long walkers trail is due. Capt. T was perplexed by the sandwich meats. Is it turkey that taste like ham or ham that taste like turkey. In true hasher style, it didn't matter, it was all wolfed down. With satiated appetites and thirsts, Down Downs began.

Byte and Duals were brought forth for an unf*cked up hash.

Those that just can't get enough:

Stained Sheets 315

Cunning Runt 169

And the triplets:

French Toasted 95

Burnt Sox 95

No Class 95

Those just getting started:

Chuck Lucia

Dino Johnston

Those that want more:

Bump 'N Gump

Mr InterRam 95

Roxy Moron

Hilary Hardy

Kimo I wanna lei ya

Bleached Lightning

BushMaster

Family Jewels

He that happened upon us:

Rubber Maiden

Those that needed excuses for drinking:

Sweet Cheeks - getting a HEAD start in running

Steamer - Poor rappelling technique

M/L and FMB - Knowing something the pack didn't know

Cunning Runt, Dr J & Roxy Moron - Not knowing how to use a pen

Dual Air Bags - Joining the MVH3 tradition of owning a sport utility vehicle.

There is an urgent call for a hare for

July 5. Should Red Snapper do it? It appears she has 177 hashes and only 2 hare credits for which she earned the hashit. She may not be able to provide a trail but she could lend a hand, a mouth, a toe, or a foot. I'm sure she doesn't want to carry the hashit until her 200th hash.

ON ON SLick SLit