Location: Baltimore, MD
What a mismanagement! With a keg o’ the good stuff tapped in
the hashpitality suite, we were feeling darned good when we set out for
Federal Hill on Friday night’s pub crawl. Blue flour led us to four
of Baltimore’s finest bars (five if you followed Poop Deck). The
biggest game in town was seeing who paid the most for the taxi ride back
to the hotel – Burrito and Granny Boulders came in low with about $4, while
Roto came in high with about $8. Bartenders, who early in the evening
claimed no knowledge of the taxi system, were, by early Saturday morning,
begging the cab companies to send more cabs and helping hashers get in
them.
Later Saturday morning found a lot of hangovers in the “breakfast suite” of the Quality Inn – Stadium. Even stale bagels and watery orange juice were a sight for aching eyes. Hot Legs was the only in the group who found meat (“Wankers has sausage, but no eggs.”)
By 11:00, camp was breaking to get to the start of #777 way out in the country. Lots of backsliders were on hand for the “big” hash of the weekend, and most of them were accounted for at the end.
In a nutshell, trail went way up, way down, through water, way up, way down, through water, way up, over railroad tracks, then up some more to the ON IN.
A few walkers missed the walker-runner split, or maybe ignored it, but Spreadsheets, Ahgghh, Steamer, and Just Ben finished as circle was getting under way and there were still plenty of Oreos left.
Tore Ass and Fire and Ice did a rousing business selling last year’s goods at a reduced price.
Following circle notes courtesy of Black Box:
Hares: Well Drilled, Yes Dear, Full Metal Balls, Poop Deck, and Dual
AirBags
Visitors (from the DC area): See No Trail, Just Scott, Stick Your Finger In It, I Spy a Cock Eye, Coin Operated, Mad Dog, Meat Whacker, Mini Brew, Bend Over Rover.
Visitors (from outside the DC area): J-Walker, Sticky Fingers
Returners: Boob A Lube, Designer Bush, Ground Chuck, Indiana Bones, Puss n Boots, Steers & Queers, Don’t Let Your Meatloaf
Anniversaries: Summers Eve (5), Steers & Queers (25), Got Box (25), Love Canal (35), $2 Head (45), $50 Bitch (50), Only 2? and TipHer WhipHer (55), Womb Broom, Mitey Tite, and Great Balls of Fire (69), Throbbin Member (75), Steamer (215), Rutro (225), FMB (315), French Toasted (315), Hot Legs (325)
Violations:
Holy Tit for recruiting all of the “babies” to attend the AGM. We presented
him with on on feet for his nipple ring.
WoWo for throwing his dog into the river. Rocky Whore for leaving most of the MisManagement mugs in her room at the hotel. Stained Sheets for celebrating his birthday.
Best trail: There was a tie. The first was #734 on July 21 at Bull Run Marina and was hared by Rocky Whore, French Toasted, Drops A Load and Sputdick. It featured some outstanding horse trails along the river. The second was #743 on September 22 in Clifton and started and ended at Cums in 3 Courts aunt’s barn. Also haring were Rocky Whore, French Toasted (hmmm, a pattern here?), Late Comer, and Cork Screwed. There were lots of hills, woods, water crossings, and great food in the barn.
Worst Trail: fresh in everyone’s mind from the previous weekend was #775, on April 27. It was the Hawaiian Puke & Turkey Timer pre-nuptial trail with the unending checks in the woods. Hares were Flying Burito, Pulls Out Early, Cork Screwed, One Man One Hand, Granny Boulders, and Bad Ditch.
Get A Life Club: French Toasted for having hashed the most—54
times! And French Toasted and Throbbin Member for having hared the most—8
times each. They received MVH3 baseball hats that read Get A Life.
Also, Cheap Slut was honored for having surpassed Missing Link as the
number 1 person on the first page of the sign in list. He recently reached
600 runs with MVH3. Black Box presented him with One Tit Only’s 2000
MisManagement mug that she never claimed. BB opined that someone
who would only show one tit was a cheap slut.
Hashit: WoWo for throwing Maize in the river. [I can’t remember anyone else nominated]. But, as tradition dictates, the award went to the outgoing Joint Masters, Black Box and Mellow Foreskin Cheese, and since BB was the first one to come forward, she got it.
Grand Master initiation. All of the Grand Masters that were present (Cheap Slut, Stained Sheets, Quick Drawers, Roto, Blank Check, Byte Lightning, Hot Legs, Wankers Aweigh, Yes Dear, Poop Deck, Steamer, Full Metal Balls, Dual Airbags, Hawaiian Puke, and Late Comer) came forward to welcome the new Grand Masters, outgoing Joint Masters Black Box and Mellow Foreskin Cheese. As BB and MFC were drinking their beers, everyone else was dumping theirs on the new GMs. I believe a new tradition has been born.
It’s me, Latecummer again. We hiked about two miles up the hill and down the hill and through water and up the hill and down the hill and through water back to our cars. The only race was to see who was going to get back to the hotel for a shower before they ran out of hot water.
Finally, dinnertime rolled around. My roommate, Bavarian Bush, and I strolled downstairs with Nurse Crotchet and Pudknocker and joined the rest of the gang for another stroll, again with the blue flour, to Federal Hill, then on to Inner Harbor where we caught the water taxi to Captain Jack’s. It was on the water taxi that the new religious advisors began their slide down the toilet, as the skies opened up and poured 33F water on us. We were begging for Dual Air Bags to come back. Almost.
During dinner, as the temperature continued to plummet, Tore Ass and Fire and Ice did a rousing business selling last year’s winter goods at an inflated price.
Sunday, 10 AM
Hares: New Mismanagement (you know who they are)
Start: Across the 6-lane major highway from the hash hotel
The hares had a 15-minutes head start before Rocky Whore led her first
Father Abe. There must have been a walker/runner split, because at
some point we lost French Toasted and Dr. Strangelove (Note: FMB not included
because “lost” is more common for him). After a harsh climb over
a pass, like our butt muscles weren’t sore enough from hash #777 the previous
day, was the beverage of choice stop, with lots of margarita shots in honor
of Cinco de Mayo.
Ass Odor was tending bar for the band of walkers, who all decided not to wait for the half-dozen or so stalwart running hashers. By leaving when they did, the walkers escaped being snared by hares Well Drilled, Womb Broom, and Tore Ass. Even those hares had departed several minutes before hare Wankers Aweigh came sprinting down the railroad tracks at least a block from the beverage stop and trail. It’s nice to know that, in this world of chaos, some things never change.
Cunning Runt’s new addition, Onkers, demonstrated to us that CR’s training has paid off – she carried him part of the trail. (I’m looking forward to seeing Onkers at the next AGM – when he’s full grown, he’ll be bigger than CR.) A few short blocks later and we were on-in at an alley behind the hash hotel. Well Drilled was off to an awesome start as JM with dozens of doughnuts. Which reminds me of a joke: who’s the most popular guy at a nude beach?
Before we could escape, BBT and BT (this is going to get confusing) circled up and toasted all we mismanagement as hares for the sunny trail.
Next was the virgin: Onkers.
Some violations: Loan Shark and Cheap Slut – fashion statement; Rocky Whore – mistaking Cold Sweat for Boy Toy and giving CS directions to the mismanagement meeting; Cold Sweat – not coming to the mismanagement meeting; Roto Router – getting a tick on the pub crawl; Saturday’s hares – sending the pack on a 35-minute death march back to our cars.
And now, a word from one of our newest Grand Masters, Black Box:
I want to thank everyone who has made this such a memorable year for
me as Joint Master. Compared to other positions I’ve had on MisManagement,
being JM was one of the easiest and best. That only happened because I
had a great team to work with—my co-JM, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, who always
seemed to know when to stop arguing and agree with me. Our Hash Register,
DangeRously Close, who stepped up to the plate countless times to help
with whatever project we had to get done, including handling all of the
registrations and giveaways for the AGM. Our Hash Cash and co-RA,
Full Metal Balls, who was even more anal about keeping our financial records
straight than I would have been. Our Hare Raiser, Throbbin Member,
who hared almost as many times as he ran and took countless abuse for problems
with Pudjam. Our Scribes, Oil of No Lay and Fussy Bitch, who made sure
that the trash was always there with as many lies in it as possible. Our
Webmaster, Harddrive, who did an incredible job keeping the web page up-to-date
and for organizing the MVH6 happy hours. Our haberdashers, Well Drilled
and Rocky Whore, who decided that being in sales was a real pain of a job,
so they decided to retire and become Joint Masters. And, of course, the
“other” voice of MVH3, our Religious Advisor, Dual Airbags, who kept us
entertained each week between goings on in the circle and her posted messages.
Thanks for all of your support.
And for everyone else, just think, you won’t have to listen to me making announcements anymore! So we all win!
Congratulations and good luck to the new MisManagement team.
On On. Black Box
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Next Hash
Date: May 18, 2002
Hares: 3x and the Dumbasses
Start: Farmwell Station Middle School (Gloucester Parkway, Ashburn,
Virginia)
Directions:
From Dulles Toll Road West, exit at Rt. 28 North, Sully Road toward
Sterling (go approx. 1.5 miles)
Make left onto Waxpool/Farmwell Road (go approx. 2 miles; Waxpool will
turn into Farmwell along the way)
Make right onto Ashburn Village Boulevard (go approx. 1.25 miles)
Make Right onto Gloucester Parkway
Make Right into Farmwell Station Middle School
Search for wankers on the East/left side of the school; park; hash
Dog Friendly Factor:
Yes, especially those who like to get a little soggy; leashes will
be needed for On-In
Stroller Friendly Factor:
Yes, but walker’s trail is strongly recommended due to a couple of
damp obstacles
Miscellaneous:
PI, indigenous critters, parasites, blood sucking leaches, etc.
Bring dry clothes/shoes, as usual.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 781 - May 25th - Full Metal Balls & Missing Link
Hash 782 - June 1st - For Sale Or Rent & No Genitals
Hash 783 - June 8th- Combat Beer Patrol
Hash 784 - June 15th- TWIG
Hash 785 - June 22nd- OPEN
Hash 786 - June 29th- PIO
Hash 787 - July 6th- French Toasted & And How's Her Bush
Hash 788 - July 13th- $50 Bitch
Hash 789 - July 20th- HOPS & Perk A Set
Hash 790 - July 27th- OPEN
Hash 791 - August 3rd- Dual Air Bags, Black Box & Got Box
Please note the open dates, and sign up to take one. You’d better, ‘cause if you don’t, Throbbing Member and Wankers will set a trail. In Conway Robinson Memorial State Forest Park.
Announcements:
The next Full Moon will be May 17, 2001.
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit
Harddrive's web page: http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3
If you still don't have internet access, get updates on area hashes
on the hotline: (202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters – Well-Drilled, Rocky Whore
Religious Advisor – C.R.A.F.T.Y., Boy Toy, and Bill Wagner
Scribe/Subscribe – Latecomer & Wankers Bertagnoli
On-Sec – Only 2?
Hash Cash – Hands Solo
Hare Raiser – Womb Broom
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher – Fire & Ice and Tore Ass
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