Hares: Dr. Strangelove, 14K Cock, Womb Broom
Location: Fairfax, VA
Our religious advisors finally got off their asses and brought us decent
weather - not only did we have full sunshine, the temperature reached at
least 30 degrees. Break out the shades, it's time for the return
of Pasty White Legs!
Cunning Runt's 90-pound puppy, Ankers (sp, or just call it Schlitz),
was on one of the long-time-no-seers; she's grown exponentially since her
debut at the AGM. What I wouldn't have given to snuggle up with that
huge fur coat this winter ...
Without a whistle or her fellow joint master, Well Drilled was once
again forced to beg a commoner for a blow to send the hares away.
Dr. Strangelove drew a check at the start, and the hares departed in separate
directions.
The whereabouts of Rocky Whore were a mystery, her home only a couple
of minutes from the start. Car trouble? Health problems?
All-night bender? We finally circled and walked without her.
Big Bird Turd hadn't been seen, either, but he frequently appears just
at the end.
The first mark being a check, the pack pretty much split, one half
going north and into the woods, the other half going south and into the
woods, leaving a few to check hang. Soon the southern contingent
returned and the check was marked. Then the northern contingent emerged
from the woods, calling BT. Cheap Slut called ON IN, and the trail
was over. Just kidding - after much debate and careful reexamination
of marks, Well Drilled flipped a coin, and we all followed her on the southerly
route into the woods. We were in the woods a very long time.
We walkers relied on our talented running brethren and sistern to mark
the checks and they didn’t let us down. We didn’t even think twice
about taking the T (tough) trail option. Tough was Whack Me SMLMLB
when she rolled her ankle on an incline but limped on. She probably
didn't want to miss any of the Cheap Slut/Loan Shark show that accompanied
the walkers. And speaking of injuries, Got Box was back on trail
- after a month in rehab he is once again able to do the old 12-once curl,
if you know what I mean (ask Black Box).
After a couple of miles, who should appear but Rocky Whore, with a
really blonde story about losing her way to the hash, didn't have her cell
phone, had to go back home and call PUDJAM0. Right. Whatever
you say, RW. Even Only 2?didn't fall for that one.
A hammock strung between two stout trees presented a sign of civilization.
Actually, the sign of civilization was that no property owner had rousted
S’Not from his occupancy of the hammock. S’Not did acknowledge our
presence and even sent us on true trail before nodding off.
The toughest check we had to solve, OK, the only check we had to solve,
was still in the snowy woods. What made the check so difficult was
that we didn’t really find the check per se, we found a BT. Backtracking,
Whore Moans uncovered additional blue markings deeper in the woods.
We finally emerged from the woods onto a road, desolate with the exception
of 14K Cock at the end of the road dispensing a beverage from an MVH3 cooler.
This most worthy hasher offered mulled wine to warm us from our winter
chill (he’s a hare again in two weeks – expect big things). Big Sweaty
Pussy was so warmed he became sweaty and shed his sweatshirt (the pussy).
Loan Shark tried to turn his attention to Slip Knot, who quickly warned
him to, and this is verbatim, “Fuck off – every time you get near me I
get in trouble”, before dashing off. SK was so determined to avoid
LS that he didn’t even join the closing ceremony until Loan Shark was on
his way back to the home.
We wandered along Fairfax County Parkway for a bit, which is where
BBT saw us as he drove by to the start. He and Luci cut through some
side streets and nonchalantly joined in the walk, but we can always feel
the addition of another Bill Wagner, and we already had one of those.
We had one more swing through woods before returning to Chez Dr. Strangelove
and ON IN for real. For the second week in a row, we had an indoor
ending, with heat, and a spread of chow (ham and rice). The food
was so tasty, Hot Legs was seen gnawing on a ham bone. Wankers had
a comment about Hot Legs gnawing on boners, but he can elaborate when he
writes the Trash. Duck Job and $50 Bitch arrived so late she had
left to do her own trail, while he simply wandered on-in. BBT – take
a clue.
After our tummies were full and the alcohol started taking effect,
but before Rocky grabbed Byte, spread his legs, and pulled him to her,
Boy Toy pierced our ears and commenced circle.
Runner’s Remarks - Wankers Aweigh
The trail last Saturday was, gratefully, cut by the hares to only 14
miles when they learned it was too cold for GOT "Eskimo" BOX - the wimp.
For those of us not smart enough to stay somewhere warm, it was a long
trail that intertwined streets and shiggy in an interesting, delightful,
tapestry of the Northern Virginia burbs. It was truly a great trail
- mostly because this scribe's feet stayed dry and it ended indoors.
And if you think this scribe is just making up a little BS because it's
Friday night and the trail has been utterly forgotten – not true!
It did end indoors.
Circle
Hares Dr. Strangelove, 14K Cock, Womb Broom
Virgins none
Visitors Just Trey, Mmmmm!! - Samurai H3, Subpeonis, Hornblower
Backsliders Just Linda, Porto Potty, Hugh Heifer, Pocket Scientist
Analversaries Just Gillian - 5; Loan Shark - 50; Leave It In Beaver
- 100; Mellow Foreskin Cheese - 169; Cheap Slut - 635
Violations Hugh Heffer - not puking on trail; S'Not - hangin'; Puppy
Pimp – Lost his cherry to MVH3, got his name at MVH3, yet signed up as
WH4 for Christmas party; Duck Job - selling WH4 script; Rocky Whore - being
blonde; Got Box – graduated rehab; MFC & Only 2? - fashion statement;
Puke Me Up Buttercup - shithash violation; Missing Link - wearing Buttercup's
shirts to bed; Pocket Scientist - returning to MVH3 a year after moving
back; Boy Toy - wearing long pants.
Hashit. First there was Buttercup for calling the hashit a shithash,
then there was Puppy Pimp for dissing Mount Vernon, and of course Rocky
Whore, who not only lost her way and had to call PUDJAM despite living
two minutes away, but readily admitted it! Blonde.
Index Pack - 8.5. Shiggy - 9.1. Content (wine stop) - 9.9.
Food/Beer - 9.2. Circle - 9.0. Hash index for Hash 816: 9.14
Announcements:
MVH3 AGM May 2–4, Harper’s Ferry, WVa. Cliffside Inn/Quality
Inn - MVH3 has reserved 30 rooms in this deluxe hotel for your accommodations.
Check the web site for instructions on claiming a room, reservations are
being made through Rocky (she needs funds for her trip to InterAm).
WH4 holiday party: register for the Holiday Party; it's TODAY!
$30 at the door, A-to-A, Arlington, directions at:
http://www.dchashing.org/wh4/WH4_Xmas_Rego_2003.pdf
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes,
visit http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3 OR call the DC-area hotline -
(202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Hareline:
Hash 819 – February 15th – 14K Cock & crew
Hash 820 – February 22nd – Cheap Slut, Loan Shark, Pudknocker
Hash 821 – March 1st – Samedi Gras – Latecomer & crew
Hash 822 – March 8th – Dual Air Bags, Byte Lightening, Cunning Runt,
Dr. Jekyl
Hash 823 – March 15th – Full Metal Balls & friends
Hash 824 – March 22nd – Byte Me Elmo, Indecent Proposal, Drops A Load
Hash 825 – March 29th – Quick Drawers & Organ Icer
Next Hash #818
10:00 AM – February 8, 2003
Cost: $5
Hares: Featuring the "Walking Wounded"- Poopdeck, Almost/French
Toasted, Byte Lightning, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, & Got Box
Start: Start: Old Centreville Crossing Shopping Center, Old Centreville
RD, Centreville, VA. ADC map NoVa 12-A12 Fac.
Theme: The first Annual Walking Wounded Hash
Directions:
From I66 - Take Exit 53 (Centreville, Sully RD/Centreville RD/ RT 28)
to Route 28 (South) towards Centreville. Go about a half mile then take
a left onto Route 29 (North) towards Fairfax. Turn right at the second
light onto Old Centreville RD. Turn left immediately into the Shopping
Center and look for the wounded hashers waiting for the ambulance; park
and hash.
Dog Friendly Factor:
Okay, but must be leashed at the ON IN
Stroller Friendly Factor:
Yes
Miscellaneous:
Hardhats, eye protection, arm casts and other appropriate (and not
appropriate) protection recommended.
Immobilized appendages and crutches are optional; however, since Poopdeck
is cooking at the On-In, Pepto Bismol is highly recommended.
As usual, bring dry clothes/shoes.
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters – Well-Drilled, Rocky Whore
Religious Advisor – C.R.A.F.T.Y., Boy Toy, and Big Bird Turd
Scribe/Subscribe – Latecomer & Wankers Aweigh
On-Sec – Only 2?
Hash Cash – Hands Solo
Hare Raiser – Womb Broom
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher – Fire & Ice and Tore Ass
Den Mother – Wanks With Wolves
On On, ZiPpY, and thanks for all the trails