Hares: Full Metal Balls, Missing Link, Byte Lightening, and Nickelodeon
Location: Centerville, VA
One thing about joining the walkers trail is that I never really get
warm: two pairs of socks, three pairs of pants, three shirts, two pairs
of gloves helped ward off the chill of Saturday morning. Getting
dressed for last week's hash was a time-consuming process: I had to get
up 30 minutes earlier than usual just to get layered. Still, my layers
must pale in comparison to those of For Sale Or Rent Or Homeless.
I also wore sunglasses, which came in handy from the tremendous glow
of Jointed Staff's new shoes reflecting the sunlight. It was due
to poor timing on his part that he didn't have them a week earlier to drink
from, it could only have improved the beer. Then there was my partner
in The Great Jungle Adventure, Indecent Proposal; seeing her reminded me
of the sunny days on a sandbar sipping breakfast beer, working on a tan.
The sight of S'Not in his hashing skort, showing off his frostbitten legs,
brought me back to reality.
Before hares were away, Full Metal Balls called the walkers to him
and distributed maps, with instructions to watch checks for the secret
word, where we were to execute secret instructions and then follow the
map. Trail sounded simple, and would have been, had I not been distracted
by Loan Shark and Big Bird Turd. More on that later.
I barely had time for a "whirleybird" from Cheap Slut before we were
on trail across the frozen tundra of Centreville. It wasn't long
before the runners ran and the walkers didn't. Loan Shark and
Big Bird discussed the merits of the previous week's trail: "You tried
to kill me, you son of a bitch!" "Yeah, the trail was a little long."
"You son of a bitch, you tried to kill me!" Loan Shark's sweatshirt
had NAVY in huge block letters, so he'd know what color pants to wear with
it. Speaking of fashion, even the canines on the walkers wore extra
layers: Luci, Shamus, and BBT wore matching red sweaters.
As usual, the walkers had much debate over the trail markings, such
as whether or not we had missed a check, had anyone seen the secret word,
ad nauseum. We hadn't, and we hadn't. Do Me Next Week is a
calming influence with that pack - she stays relaxed and happy regardless
of the environment or trail proceedings. Sometimes I wonder if B'Cuz
He Can slips something into her morning coffee, but I try not to think
about it.
Hot Legs and Screws Everybody assumed their usual role as FWBs and
were quickly out of sight, leaving Fire & Ice, Standard Deviant, Chappa
Quick Dick and me to deal with LS & BBT for the duration of trail.
As we stood on one corner trying to decide which side of the map pointed
north, FMB drove by and pointed us in the correct direction. I’m
sure the hares did not plan for stack of firewood that conceded to gravity
as we walked along below it, but it will add to their score. We still
found the end at Missing Link’s house before the food and beer were consumed.
Runner's trail, by Wankers Aweigh
It was damn cold and windy and we didn't have Byte or FMB to check
as usual and Link is always off trail anyway like Poop Deck and Quick Drawers
so he didn't matter but all we had was French Toasted and Dr. Jekyl and
Tore Ass to follow oh and Buttercup without the hashit and Spread Sheets
and Cheap Slut were there too.
We added our shoes to the pile in ML’s backyard; Jointed Staff’s shoes
still outshined the rest. A blazing fire, chili, brewski, and three
birthday cakes awaited us inside. We were greeted by the aroma of
burning hair, which we could only attribute to the two Bahrain hashers,
who were hogging the fireplace. Ah, the tradeoffs we make to live
in a country that sells beer at the 7-11.
There was standing room only around the video games, the pack pulling
for Dr. Strangelove not only to win, but to figure out how to start his
car.
Given the abundance of birthday cakes, BBT and Dual Air Bags decided
that each down-down would be accompanied by a piece of cake. In other
words, the down-down beer would chase cake. The virgins were too
polite to make a mess in Link’s garage or on themselves, but the hares
wore more cake than they ate. Mismanagement sends somewhat sincere
apologies to those who would have preferred chocolate cake to whatever
they were served, or, as we prefer to say, tough shit.
Circle
Hares Full Metal Balls, Missing Link, Byte Lightening, Nickelodeon
Virgins Just Kelly and Just Elizabeth, who came out of curiosity over
the article in the Post
Visitors Mother Chucker and Just Ben from Bahrain Black Hash
Backsliders Sauer Crotch, Rear Area Security, 1 Man 1 Hand, Slick Slit
Analversaries Just Julie - 5; Sex On Trail - 5; Chappa Quick Dick -
75; For Sale Or Rent Or Homeless - 165; Late Cummer - 215; Big Bird Turd
- 275
Violations Screws Everybody - bringing a birthday present for Hot Legs,
whose birthday is in July; Loan Shark - defiling the Navy; Slick Slit -
barefoot; Bahrain hashers - hogging the fireplace; Chaluka - forgot sleigh;
BBT & Luci - dressing alike; S'Not - skorts; Pudknocker - reporting
his wife for violations in order to get her drunk; Jointed Staff - new
shoes; Buttercup - running trail sans hashit; RAS - wearing sacred Shrunken
Headbangers shirt; Latecummer - reading map upside down; Well Drilled -
giving the hares a huge head start; Happy On My Knees - new haircut; Red
Snapper and Only 2? - waiting outside
Hashit Buttercup, who won it last week, won it again for failing to
show the hashit proper reverence. She even called it a shithash,
when we all know the shithash is Tuesdays.
Index Once again a cold morning, the pack was smaller than usual but
compensated with enthusiasm, PACK 8.5. It’s pretty cool when shoe-sucking
mud is frozen hard enough to cause shin splints - SHIGGY 8.1. Avalanche,
roaring fire, etc. - CONTENT 8. Food/Beer – good food, beer, and
cake, and enough of all three for DFLs Sticky Fingers, Sex On Trail, and
Slip Knot – 9.2. Circle – The cake was the clincher - 9.9.
Hash index for Hash 815: 8.74
Announcements:
MVH3 AGM May 2–4, Harper’s Ferry, WVa. Cliffside Inn/Quality
Inn - MVH3 has reserved 30 rooms in this deluxe hotel for your accommodations.
Rooms can ONLY be reserved for two nights. If you want a room for
only one night, that is your problem! Each room has a double bed.
Check in is at 3:00 pm/Check out is at 11:00 am. First come, first
served (room reservation, that is).
Cost for weekend (2 nights)
1 person in room = $160.00
2 folks in room = $174.00
3 folks in room = $190.00
4 folks in room = $208.00
Make checks payable to MVH3 and mail to:
Nancy "Rocky Whore" Lucas
5744 Walnut Wood Lane
Burke, VA 22015
WH4 holiday party: register for the Holiday Party; it's cumming
2/1! You missed the early bird registration price, but you can still
get in -
http://www.dchashing.org/wh4/WH4_Xmas_Rego_2003.pdf
Full mOOn – Today, January 25, special start time 4:00 PM, King
Street Metro. The trail is a pub crawl, 7 pubs for $20. Neither
stroller nor dog friendly. The hares strongly encourage taking the
metro.
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes,
visit http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3 OR call the DC-area hotline -
(202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Hareline:
Hash 818 - February 8th - Poopdeck, Byte Lightning & Almost Toast
Hash 819 - February 15th – Running Bear
Hash 820 - February 22nd - Cheap Slut & Loan Shark
Hash 821 – March 1st – Samedi Gras – Latecomer & crew
Hash 822 – March 8th – Dual Air Bags, Byte Lightening, Cunning Runt,
Dr. Jekyl
Hash 823 – March 15th – Full Metal Balls & friends
Hash 824 – March 22nd – Byte Me Elmo, Indecent Proposal, Drops A Load
Hash 825 – March 29th – Quick Drawers & Organ Icer
Next Hash #817
10:00 AM – February 1, 2003
Cost: $5
Hares: Featuring the Asian Hares - Slick Slit, Poop Deck, Kimo
& Corkscrew'd
Start: Sunset Hills Baptist Church, 3500 Franconia RD, Alexandria,
at the Corner of Franconia RD and Norton RD
Theme: The Asian New Year Hash
Directions:
From I495 –
Take Exit 176 (Telegraph RD South) to Telegraph RD South (RT 611) go
about one mile to Franconia RD (RT 644). Make a right onto Franconia
RD and go about half mile to Sunset Hills Baptist Church which will be
on your right hand side. Look for the wankers, park and hash. ADC
map NoVa 24-A7 Fac
Dog Friendly Factor:
Okay, but must be leashed at the ON IN
Stroller Friendly Factor:
Okay on walking trail, but must be leashed at the ON IN
Miscellaneous:
The hash will end outside featuring Asian Food for the Asian New Year
holiday. Plan on wearing something warm in case it's cold. As usual,
bring dry clothes/shoes.
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters – Well-Drilled, Rocky Whore
Religious Advisor – C.R.A.F.T.Y., Boy Toy, and Big Bird Turd
Scribe/Subscribe – Latecomer & Wankers Aweigh
On-Sec – Only 2?
Hash Cash – Hands Solo
Hare Raiser – Womb Broom
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher – Fire & Ice and Tore Ass