Remember my whining all summer about the heat? Well, the heat
has finally gone! You will not hear me complain about the heat this
week, no sir. That's because I'm too damn cold. My fingers
were so cold I had to break out my drinking gloves.
One benefit of cold weather is the colorful legs that appear.
Gone are the pasty-white and hairy; clad in loud winter tights were Hot
Legs, Dribbler, and Big Bird Turd. ‘Spring’s delicate bouquet of
color could not hold a candle to thee’ (Walt “Yetti” Whitman).
In the absence or tardiness of 90% of mismanagement, it fell upon yours
truly to blow the hares away. At precisely 10:00:01 AM, they disappeared
in a cloud of white powder. When the cloud settled, we discovered
underneath Continental Drip pretending to be a mogul.
This trail had the kind of checks that appeal to Mount Vernon: check
at the halfway point of a hill. Downcheck was less strenuous, but
meant giving up the high ground. Upcheck was a potential no-brainer,
but tough for half-brains. We veteran hashers hung check while visitors,
virgins, and Clorox Kid r*n checks. Ever notice that he’s always
smiling? Even a bad beer on a hot day makes him happy.
On the walkers’ trail, we lost Flying Burrito at the first check.
(This is not a cause for concern – Granny Boulder’s name and number are
on a tag on his collar, so he is always returned to his proper home.)
We followed Hands Solo (yes, Hands Solo!) on true trail left onto Liberty
Street with its view of church spires peeking over the autumn foliage.
Stunned children stood in the doorways of many houses along Liberty Street.
Somehow in the lead and hesitant to abandon a check without marking
it, Black Box and I waited until Got Box came along and withdrew a stick
of chalk from his pocket (I had thought it was just a newlywed thing) to
mark a pack arrow by the check.
A tall, skinny, black man ran up behind Fire & Ice & me.
Byte busted, running the walkers’ trail! No wonder he usually finishes
first. We tried to explain to him the difference between “W” and
“R”, but he would have none of that. Next Pudnocker, then Dr. Strangelove,
then the trickle of runners turned into a flood.
One of the best parts about the walkers’ trail is the stimulating conversation,
which frequently makes us forget we are following trail. It was thus
I found myself when my pocket began to chime. I answered my mobile
to find Big Sweaty Pussy on the other end, “I’ve just crossed a Beer Near,
by the school where we started.”
As directed, we found BN, On In to Ducky’s backyard, good beer, hot
chili, and an invitation from Yes Dear to take a swing in the hammock.
Put It Out was seen drinking one of those good beers, proving that he really
is a closet beer snot.
Great Balls of Fire mentioned the twinge of guilt he felt for having
a virgin on trail but being unable to run trail with her, so I pointed
out that she had run with PIO. We didn't bother to revive GBOF until
it was time for circle.
Circle:
Hares Duck Job, $50 Bitch, Great Balls of Fire, Leave It In Beaver,
Whore Moans (who actually bragged about setting a White House trail at
Mt. Vernon, yet had no beer stop)
Virgins Just Merritt (Cork Screwed), and Just Julie (Great Balls Of
Fire)
Visitors Just Robin - Dewey Beach; Just Ashley - Dewey Beach;
Just Michael (WH4); Just Dana (WH4)
Backsliders Tootsie, Dumb Ass, 1/2 Life With Dumb Ass, Quick
Drawers, Womb Broom, Butt Plug
Analversaries Just Sara - 5; Do Me Next Week - 100; Big Bird
Turd - 265; Cork Screwed - 315; Bute Lightening - 445; Cheap Slut - 625.
Namings Just Barb was about to become a woman. Her pal
Buttercup told a long, yet interesting, tale of Just Barb's taking an illicit
piss on a ferry ride from New Orleans to Detroit (that must have been one
hell of a ferry). The felonious tinkle elicited such names as I Spy
PP, Put A Finger In It, Finger In The Dike, and Ferry Dike. Other
suggestions included Sponge Barb P Pants and Scrum Sucking Road Whore.
Thanks to Duck Job, she will be known as Trickle Treat.
Violations Almost Toast - he's driving again(!); Cheap Slut -
fashion statement; Slip Knot - failing on his week to watch Loan Shark;
Pinky Penis, Cork Screwed, Put It Out - r*nning the Marine Corpse; Leave
It In Beaver - media slut; Hard Drive - finger-picking injury; Buttercup
- buying a ticket for a ferry from New Orleans to Detroit; Big Sweaty Pussy
- sanitizing the hashit (among other things); Hawaiian Puke, Turkey Timer,
Cyclops, Latin Anal-ist, and just Kate - showing up in time to eat; and
me (Latecummer) - cell phone abuse.
There was a special down-down for hashers who were mentioned in the
new Hash Directory - French Toasted, Big Bird Turd, Mellow Foreskin Cheese,
Hops, Duck Job (and when one hare drinks ...)
Hashit - Since Big Sweaty Pussy had gone to the trouble of sanitizing
it, the least we could do was allow him to keep it for a week.
A huge “thanks” and “atta boy” goes to Over The Hump H3 for hosting
the 9th Virginia Interhash last weekend! Numerous members from the
MVH3 kennel were in attendance for the entire weekend, and Dr. Strangelove,
Continental Drip, For Sale Or Rent, and I managed to attend VAIH9 and still
hash with MVH3, you bunch of pussies!
____________________________________________________
Next Hash:
10:00 AM - November 16th, 2002
Hares: AndHowsHerBush, Rocky Whore, French (Almost) Toasted
Start: Bull Run Regional Park - 7700 Bull Run Drive, Centreville, VA
Directions:
Metro: (what are we, the baby hash?)
DRIVING:
From 495: Take I66 West (towards MANASSAS/FRONT ROYAL). Take the US-29
exit. Turn RIGHT onto LEE HWY (Route 29). Turn LEFT onto BULL RUN POST
OFFICE RD/VA-621. Bear RIGHT (at the fork) onto BULL RUN DRIVE and follow
to the end until you reach the park. Follow flour to the start.
From parts south of Manassas: Prince William Parkway towards Manassas.
Turn RIGHT onto LIBERIA AVENUE. Turn RIGHT onto ROUTE 28 North. Turn LEFT
onto ROUTE 658. Turn LEFT onto BULL RUN DRIVE and follow to the end until
you reach the park. Follow flour to the start.
Or see map for directions: Bull Run Regional Park.
Dog Friendly Factor: Dogs, Cats, pet Bears... all are welcome.
Stroller Friendly Factor: Stroller friendly (Tough strollers on runners
trail)
Miscellaneous: As usual, bring dry shoes and clothes.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 807 - November 23rd - Wanks With Wolves, Boy Toy, Sir Sucks-A-Lot
Hash 808 - November 30th – Thanksgiving – Mismanagement. Give
thanks that you only have five more months of us before new mismanagement
takes over.
Hash 809 – December 7th – While Elephant – Mismanagement. Bring
gifts of cash and alcohol for the hares.
On the subject of Christmas, allow me to get this out of my system:
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in
Washington, DC this Christmas. This isn't for any religious constitutional
reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin
in the nation's capitol. There was no problem however, finding enough asses
to fill the stable.
Thank you.
Announcements:
Are you a control freak without an outlet? Consider joining mismanagement
2003 – 2004. Contact one of our many religious advisors to find the
job that’s right for you.
Don’t miss out on the fun for the next VA Interhash, sponsored by Richmond
H3. For early registration at $40, go to http://www.richmondhash.com/
and sign up.
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit
http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3
Are you lonely? Want to hear a friendly, familiar voice?
Call the DC-area hotline - (202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters – Well-Drilled, Rocky Whore
Religious Advisor – C.R.A.F.T.Y., Boy Toy, and Big Bird Turd
Scribe/Subscribe – Latecomer & Wankers Aweigh
On-Sec – Only 2?
Hash Cash – Hands Solo
Hare Raiser – Womb Broom
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher – Fire & Ice and Tore Ass
____________________________________________________
Here's a little something for all you veterans today, courtesy of my
good friend, RMSC(SW) Agua Nino, USN (Ret):
He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being -- a person
who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country,
and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice
theirs.
He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and
he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the
finest, greatest nation ever known.