Location: Woodbridge, VA
Today’s guest scribe is internationally acclaimed author Bavarian Bush:
It was a beautiful Saturday morning (in stark contrast to a week before) when an unusually small pack gathered in the parking lot of the Lake Ridge Middle School in Woodbridge. Memorial Day weekend was taking its toll and kept a lot of people away, but it also brought us some long-time-no-seers like Hazukashii (say that ten times real fast, BBT!), visiting from Asia, as well as Perk-a-Set, whom we hadn’t seen in months. Haz ably led us into Father Abraham, and then we were off.
Due to a sprained ankle I stayed with the walkers, following our trusty leader, Black Box. After traversing several neighborhoods, we came to an intersection and were looking for trail. BB consulted her map, but then I saw Got Box take the map from her and gently turn it around – not a good sign! We were then promptly sent in the wrong direction, but eventually figured out which way to go. Big Bird Turd was back from his recent hashing trip to China, where he did the Beijing H3 1000th run among others, and was raving that they had possibly set some of the best runs he had ever been on.
Next came a stroll in the woods where the front runners were passing us at the speed of Byte Lightning – Cunning Runt, Because He Can, and French Toasted in hot pursuit. We came to a pipe crossing, where Quick Closing was the only one brave enough to actually cross ON the pipe, but after two bold steps all confidence and sense of balance left her and she decided to do the rest of the crossing in a slightly less daring and much safer fashion, getting much closer to the pipe. The rest of the pack avoided it altogether.
Nurse Crotchet and Ughugh exchanged medical tidbits. I got close enough to hear the word “ringworm”, and quickly decided to fall behind again and find a different conversation…
As there hadn’t been much to write about on the walkers’ trail, I asked some of the runners to give me some of the highlights of the runners’ trail, and picked up the following morsels of information. Pinky Penis told S’not that he had run an extra mile around the golf course, only to find out that S’not had never even been near any golf course. Hollow Point said that he enjoyed the trail, especially the beginning, until he rammed the top of his head (yes, I said head) into a very sturdy branch, which must have been the same branch that AndHow’sHer Bush scraped his head on. Everybody lamented the absence of a beer check, and of course the hares drank for it.
There were more innuendos and incriminating things said at the impromptu gathering of the get-a-life crowd in the parking lot, but I won’t report on that to protect the “innocent”.
BB
And now for the circle (with apologies to a Just and the Cinderella
visitor, whose names I can’t remember. Just Wait until you turn 30
and see what your memory’s like!):
Hares: Full Metal Balls and Missing Link for their trail and for not
being able to tell their right from left.
Virgins: Just Ashley (Womb Broom swears she’s legal).
Visitors: Moo Moo Buck-a-Roo
Backsliders: Hazukaskii, Oops, Hops, Perk-A-Set, BOB, Running Bare,
Prostate-Toot, and Just Ray
Anniversaries: Hops (35), Running Bare (45), Standard Deviant (50),
Well-Drilled (125), and the leader of the Get-a-Life club: Slip Knot (245).
Violations: Byte – staying for the circle; Full Metal Balls and Missing
Link - crackling power lines, cancer sticks for lunch, no radon?; Dr. Strangelove
– eating the hotdog Missing Link dropped; Sticky Fingers – environmental;
Standard Deviant, Chap-a-quick-dick, Hard Drive, Just Dan – Latecomer wannabees
(and when one Grand Master drinks…); Womb Broom – not having a shortcut
to MVH3 directions on PUDJAM; Black Box and Just Ray – new automobiles
(and when one Box drinks…); Hollow Point – damaging a tree in a state forest;
Quick Closing – fashion statement.
There were a few nominations for Hashit: Blank Check – he and Rutro
arrived in separate cars, claimed he was around for the ‘important part’;
Ass Odor – really really really should wear a shirt; Black Box – who was
seen peeling an MVH3 on-on foot sticker from an MVH3 cooler and putting
it on her new car. Nominations closed, Black Box was elected.
Until BBT, running his first solo circle, forgot whistle check, and tried
to cover by saying we didn’t need one. Do we look stupid?
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Next Hash:
It’s the Combat Beer Patrol!
Date: June 1, 2002
Hares: Pinky Penis, Dr. Stangelove, Steamer, Tore Ass & Womb Broom
Start: Dulles Town Center Mall, VA (Vic of Sully Road & Nokes BLVD ). For those that can't find this by themselves on a map, it's ADC NoVa Map 1-A3 LC.
Directions:
From Dulles Toll Road West, exit at Route 28 North (Sulley Road) go
approx 4 miles. Right at traffic light onto Nokes BLVD. Left at next traffic
light onto Atlantic BLVD. Turn right into Mall parking at Uno's Pizza.
Look for the deviants, park & hash.
From Route 7, exit onto Route 28 South (Sulley Road). Left at traffic
light onto Nokes BLVD. Left at next traffic light onto Atlantic BLVD. Turn
right into Mall parking at Uno's Pizza. Look for the deviants, park &
hash.
From the Metro: Get real!
Dog & Stroller Friendly Factor:
Tough dawgs who are strong swimmers. Strollers on walkers trail only.
Miscellaneous:
The Hares promise a short A to B trail that is downhill, tree lined
and with nothing but sweet-smelling clover underfoot (hares never lie).
Kevlar tights, eye protection, ivy block and your mother's combat boots
recommend! ed. As usual, a dry change of shoes and clothes
might cum in handy...
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit
Harddrive's web page: http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3
If you’re a disconnected loser, get updates on area hashes on the hotline:
(202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 782 - June 1st - For Sale Or Rent & No Genitals
Hash 783 - June 8th - Combat Beer Patrol
Hash 784 - June 15th - TWIG
Hash 785 - June 22nd - Well Drilled
Hash 786 - June 29th – P(s)IO/S(s)MD
Hash 787 - July 6th - French Toast & And How's Her Bush
Hash 788 - July 13th - $50 Bitch
Hash 789 - July 20th - HOPS & Perk-A-Set
Hash 790 - July 27th - Wanks with Wolves, Boy Toy & Sir Sucks A
Lot
Hash 791 - August 3rd - Dual Air Bags, Black Box & Got Box
Hash 792 – August 10th – Wankers Aweigh, Hot Legs & Womb Broom
Hash 793 - August 17th - Poop Deck, Screws Everybody & Pinky Penis
Hash 794 - August 24th - OPEN
Hash 795 - August 31th – Dual Air Bags & crew
Announcements:
Red Dress Hash
Mail in registrations are being accepted for this years DC Area Red
Dress Hash!! See http://www.dchashing.org/dcreddress/index.html and
click on the form, fill it out, write a check and mail it in.
Or you can wait a week or so and sign up via paypal!
Virginia Interhash
OTH4 does VA IH 9 this year! Check out http://hash-grease.com
and click on VAIH registration form!
When - Nov 1-3
Where - Aquia Pines Campground - Stafford VA
What you get - ALOT!!! beer, food, songs, camping, drunken idiots,
dumbasses (not necessarily THE Dumbasses) singing til dawn, great OTH4
shiggy trails, food, beer, giveaways, jello shooters, evening entertainment,
a nekkid trail ( some poor young,
dumb, marine always gets nekkid and runs through the woods), beer,
and did I mention beer?
Cost - $75
Check out the web site and click on the form, fill it out, write a
check, and mail it to where your supposed to mail it!!
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters – Well-Drilled, Rocky Whore
Religious Advisor – C.R.A.F.T.Y., Boy Toy, and Big Bird Turd
Scribe/Subscribe – Latecomer & Wankers Aweigh
On-Sec – Only 2?
Hash Cash – Hands Solo
Hare Raiser – Womb Broom
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher – Fire & Ice and Tore Ass
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