Location: VA
(The first real paragraph of today’s Trash is by our virgin scribe,
Wankers Aweigh. This is not to say that Wankers is a virgin, just
ask Hot Legs. When she finishes laughing, she may need first aid.)
Trail was chopped up and it was very easy to lose sight of people. Most of the trail was poison ivy, interspersed with other shiggy and an occasional quicksand pool and some railroad tracks. This correspondent was exceptionally both unfortunate and fortunate at different times. Bad luck being lost with alone with Loan Shark who was much more insistent on discussing his sex life than finding trail. I enjoy humor as much as the next guy but one has to keep in mind that man does not live by sex alone - he must also have Beer! And for that we had to find trail. We were lost so long that a bunch of other hashers caught up with LS and I and we were able to stay on trail fairly easy now that several pairs of eyes were looking for flour rather than just one. Luckily, several us had whistles to stop any trains coming down the tracks towards our fellow hashers. One can never be to safe these days - terrorists putting locomotives on abandoned tracks to run over lost hashers is just the sort of thing the CIA will never suspect. Also had great luck by having to follow Puss N' Boots for a mile.
(Ed. note – I followed PNB briefly during the AGM trail, but soon traded places with Fossil because PNB’s butt was wasted on me.)
That’s it from Wankers for a couple of weeks – he’s off to the state
capital to fart in the Old Farts’ Games. Hot Legs says odds are he’ll
win. In honor of the Old Farts’ Games:
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other
replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do
you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
From force of habit, Dual Air Bags stuck the RA cheat sheet in her bra and threw it all in the laundry, so the circle write-up is basically fabricated:
Boy Toy called together his virgin circle of this administration, and
started by toasting himself and the other hares - Sir Sucks-A-Lot, Wanks
With Wolves, and Ofeelya Butts.
Virgins: About six.
Visitors: 2-ish
Violations: Poop Deck – forecasting the end of the world (he was the
only one on true trail at the start); Just ____ - wanted to “win” the hash;
Ernie – letting Tore Ass off his leash; last week’s hares – making us schlep
“20” minutes back through shiggy to get to our cars; Throbbing Member –
he’s a hare next month, might as well start drinking now; Fire & Ice
– found cock on trail; Flying Burrito – having one abnormally large ball;
Well Drilled – doing a 2-hour r*n before the hash; Slip Knot & Full
Metal Balls – r*cing shirts; Black Box – r*nning; Cuff Me Stuff Me &
Gomer Filer – gittin’ hitched (to each other); Wankers Aweigh – played
hooky the day reading was taught.
Anniversaries: Quick Closing (15), Whore Moans (100), Pay Per
View (115), For Sale Or Rent (135), Nurse Crotchet (150), Dangerously Close
(155), S’not (165), Hollow Point (250), and Cheap Slut (605).
And one birthday: Standard Deviant.
Hashit: Hashit holder Black Box presented the new 2002 hashit, and
was asked to speak and to make a hashit nomination. BB prattled on,
then nominated Ernie and offered him the hashit. When Ernie heard
his name, he willingly came forth and claimed his prize. Nominations
were closed, and before long Ernie had left his permanent mark on the hashit.
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Next Hash
Date: May 25, 2002
Hares: Missing Link, Full Metal Balls (together again!)
Start: Lake Ridge Middle School, 12350 Mohican Road Woodbridge, VA 22192 (ADC NoVA 26-J13 PW) (Kinda of the same place that me and my sister started a hash, only different.)
Directions:
From I95 North or South take exit 160 - towards Occoquan the town,
not the river. Get over to the left hand lane and turn
left on to Old Bridge Road. Travel about 15,000 feet and turn right
on to Mohican Road. Turn right in to the school. Park and Hash!
Dog Friendly Factor:
Tough Dogs Only
Stroller Friendly Factor:
Unknown
Miscellaneous:
PI Factor High: Tights would be a good idea. As usual,
bring dry shoes and clothes.
For the latest MVH3 information, and links to all area hashes, visit
Harddrive's web page: http://www.dchashing.org/mvh3
If you’re a disconnected loser, get updates on area hashes on the hotline:
(202) PUDJAM0, take option 6 for MVH3.
Receding Hareline:
Hash 782 - June 1st - For Sale Or Rent & No Genitals
Hash 783 - June 8th - Combat Beer Patrol
Hash 784 - June 15th - TWIG
Hash 785 - June 22nd - Well Drilled
Hash 786 - June 29th - PIO
Hash 787 - July 6th - French Toast & And How's Her Bush
Hash 788 - July 13th - $50 Bitch
Hash 789 - July 20th - HOPS & Perk-A-Set
Hash 790 - July 27th - OPEN
Hash 791 - August 3rd - Dual Air Bags, Black Box & Got Box
Hash 792 – August 10th – OPEN
Hash 793 - August 17th - Poop Deck, Screws Everybody & Pinky Penis
Announcements:
PA Interhash Sept 20-22. If you’re planning to attend Pennsylvania's
First Interhash in September, note the the first (cheap) registration deadline
is June 15th, 2002.
If you know your are going to attend, might as welll get the cheap
rate. The link is http://www.harrier.org/PAInterhash/. PA Interhash
will take place in Butler PA, hometown of Rocky Whore, and the hash hotel
will be the Days Inn, scene of her high school prom and her wedding reception,
as well as other wild party episodes, but we try to limit the Trash to
two pages.
**Register for the 'RACE FOR THE CURE as a team member of the WASHINGTON
(area) HASH HOUSE HARRIERS. On the registration form fill in --
W H 3 -- as your TEAM CODE. One-Stop Registration:
$25
Go to any Hecht Store this Saturday/Sunday (18-19 May) to one-stop
registrations to receive your T-shirt and bib.
Or go to: http://www.nationalraceforthecure.org/
POST R*CE -- Cum out to the Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers
- MVH3 - only 8 miles away from race and/or METRO ACCESSIBLE. (I
would give starting location here but if I did 14K would go there next
week instead of going to Woodbridge.)
Mismanagement:
Joint Masters – Well-Drilled, Rocky Whore
Religious Advisor – C.R.A.F.T.Y., Boy Toy, and Big Bird Turd
Scribe/Subscribe – Latecomer & Wankers Aweigh
On-Sec – Only 2?
Hash Cash – Hands Solo
Hare Raiser – Womb Broom
Haberdasher/co-haberdasher – Fire & Ice and Tore Ass
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