Run #767 March 2, 2002
03-02-02
Hares: $50 Bitch, Duck Job and French Toasted
Start: Newark and 39th St, NW DC
Trail Notes: Start Here
Pulling in just in time to discover no parking spots was perhaps not the best opportunity of the day. Then again, it is a Saturday morning and I’ve just woken up and scrambled to get myself together in time to make it to the hash. It’s not starting in my favor at all.
I drove past everyone just finishing up Father Abe, and started scanning for a parking spot. Apparently, it’s a very busy neighborhood, but you couldn’t tell by the activity in the park (other than the hashers). I lucked out and found someone leaving when I turned the corner and proceeded to do a U-ie to secure the spot and join the herd. Fortunately, the herd was running my way and I was able to catch up to Hand Solo, Nurse Crotchett and Fire & Ice, and before we knew it, we were lost on trail together! We scoured for a sign of the hares, while keeping on the sidewalks only to realize the hash had cut through the back of the library (?) building and while Hand Solo scooted up the hill in front of us, I turned to the right just as the pack was crossing the street and climbing the hill. We all scooted to catch up and went our separate ways.
I caught up to Oil of Nolay, who must think I’m wonder woman as he took off with the pack thinking it would be so easy to catch up! Shame on him…. I’ll spank him later! And then there is Loan Shark, who demonstrated remarkably bad behavior on trail. LS should have been sent to his room and not allowed out for a snack! In a nutshell, he was very problematic and has a fresh mouth and a dirty mind. Fortunately, LS had the sense to start picking on Late Cummer who was walking with us. She spilled the beans that she just recently discovered ‘seamen’ on her trip to the islands when she was stranded with Indecent Proposal. Then LS started asking her personal questions of an intimate nature, and I threatened to push LS down the ravine and that Late Cummer would help me cover the body and no one would be the wiser, till Cheap Slut went looking. We managed to crawl back down into the woods again, only to find a BT which Pudknocker immediately came up to inform us that true trail was on the sidewalk at the corner of X and Y. This enabled the walkers pack to get somewhat back together and provided us (Oil and I) with the opportunity to make a run for it and get ahead of LS, leaving him with a pack of vicious ladies. What ever became of him was to no benefit. He showed up at the circle as ornery and quizzicle as ever!
Trail took a few turns, including past the old Quigley’s and Sutton Place Gourmet (which is the location of my first ever job in DC) and up to Nebraska Avenue. We managed to short cut through a parking lot and got ahead of most of the pack, including MFC who was a FRW for a lot of the trail! Latin Analyst was with us for a large part of the trail, and she opted out of the short cut, and caught up with the rest of the pack, while Oil and I tried to catch up to Screws Everybody, Rutro and Standard Deviant.
Trail was kinda long for the walkers, only because we’ve been spoiled by less strenuous trails recently. And, weather was great and then kinda chilly – but who can blame the hares for that? We can only blame Dual Jizzbags.
There is a McDonalds on Wisconsin Avenue, not too far from the movie theater and Cactus Cantina. We cut across a field behind the grease factory and headed back into the woods. It was at this moment that I realized, I really had to pee and McD’s was too far back, so with Oil as my lookout, I found a plot of land, PI-less and claimed my stake. Below, I saw the heads of Blank Check, Only2? and Whore Moans straddling the dehydrated riverbed in an attempt to follow true trail. Watch out below!
Blank Check and Whore Moans caught up to us and BC threatened to knock me on my ass down the hill. What kinda threat is that??? He tried pulling me down the hill but couldn’t see beyond my huge ass to grab at my coat so he could trample over top of me and get to the top of the hill where the beer was residing.
By this time Oil and Only 2? were already up the hill and into the coolers. I was starved and headed immediately for the pot of warmed tomato soup. I noticed that Ms. Black Box and Got Box? were no where in sight, despite her email to me indicating that they would be present. I knew that meant I could slurp my bowl of tomato soup without being noticed. The hares then brought out a smaller cooler filled with grilled cheese sandwiches (some with ham, some with tomato, some solo) wrapped in tin foil. It was perfect hash food on this chilly afternoon. Then came a crock of the bean soup!
Surprisingly, there was a small person present at the end that I had
not seen before. Apparently, he is the prodigy of 3D’s, who showed
up for a rare MVH3 hash. Cute as a button, the prodigy that is, didn’t
look like 3D’s, so I guess there is something to be said there….
Also present at the top of the hill was Cyclops with the silly grin.
You know the kind, it happens to first time fathers who actually like children.
It only lasts till birth and then it becomes bags under the eyes… but it
was nice to see him glow as much as Latin Analist does!
Circle Up!
The circle was short I think because it was a relatively quiet hash with little trouble and not much stupidity. DJB called circle to order just after Loan Shark identified my location and started hounding me again. I thought I was safe hiding next to Hollow Point but when I turned around, HP’s fraternal twin, Cheap Slut was sitting right there – next to me!!! How did I ever get so lucky as to become the victim of the month for CS and LS? Guess its cuz Rocky Whore wasn’t there this week.
And speaking of Rocky Whore, her fellow hab, Well Drilled, also known
for her prolific porn career, was sportin’ an MVH3 job bra for the ‘not
so endowed’ types. Can I get one with some underwires for the endowed
crowd? DJB and I feel we’re neglected when you buy the tiny cup jog-bras!
Anyway – it worked as a sales technique for WD, I heard she sold many bras
that day…. But I saw a few guys trying them on as ‘cups’ – so be sure to
smell the one you pick before you pay.
VIRGINS: Just Ellie & Just Tish
Visitors: none
Returners: Triple D, Dry Cock, Continental Drip (ask him about the cheeky greek urn hepicked up in Tuscany), Bush Master, Fire & Ice, Late Cummer, Nurse Crotchet, Mitey Tite, Duck Job, $50 Bitch, Nippolas Cage, Holy Tit and Cum&Eato, why don't you come to your senses, you been out ridin' fences for so long now …
Hare-pins: Later Cummer
Anniversaries: Jiggles Lo (5), Leave it in Beaver (15), Two Lips in the Bush (25), Tip Her Whip Her (50), Chappaquickdick (55), Slip Knot & BBT (both at 235), Hands Solo (245), Continental Drip (295), Poop Deck (375)
Violations: they were pretty lame this week. I pinned
Caminito for wearing what appeared to be all white before Easter.
I also identified Tip-her Whip-her for undressing in front of the hash
and not sharing her full moon. Then there was Late Cummer for the
voluntary information about her seamen experience (or lack of). I
meant to pinch Mighty Tight for his participation in the clandestine shadow
government but I forgot. Fortunately, DJB did it and made him drink
for showing up and leaving his secret bunker for a hash.
Next Week’s Hash: 3/9/02
Directions to Run #769
Hares: Late Cummer, Continental Drip, Bavarian Bush and Milk Money
Directions:
From the beltway, take exit #50 (rt. 50 Arlington Blvd.). On exit ramp,
follow signs for Rt. 50 Arlington Blvd. EAST. At first traffic light, turn
right onto Jaguar. When Jaguar curves left, continue straight, and head
(that's right) into parking lot at Falls Church High School. If by
some unfortunate circumstance there is a function at the school that morning
and the parking lot is full, there is PLENTY of legal on-street parking
in the area.
Stroller hostile, really really really tough dogs.