02-9-02
Hares: Jag Queen, Ground Chuck
Start: deep w/in the bowels of DC.
Trail Notes: Start Here
Our nation's capital — Loop, loop, loop. Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's the gist of what I heard from people who actually did trail today.
Trail sucked, it was long, it crossed over itself, and it was a re-used trail that the hares set up to become record holders of some kind. Apparently, it was used for EWH3 on Thursday, reused for MVH3, and would be used again for WH4 --- all on the same bag of flour!!!
Of course, we were late to trail…..because someone can't get ready in time to save his life… which causes me to speed to the hash, always too late.
Anyway….. we arrived at Farragut Square to find the walkers standing on the curb at the corner of CT ave. They all looked bewildered. We rolled down the windows and asked if they could wait… but Ms. Box-Box declined.
Spinal Tap walked right out in front my car onto the crosswalk, almost tempting fate! Ms. Box-Box informed us she didn't know where she was going either, that the hares told her to walk along K street till you hit the Exxon Station, just outside G'Town somewhere near Rock Creek. So, off we went, in the luxury and warmth of a vehicle with a whiney dog!
WE drove down K street and ended up making an illegal turn into a street that dumped us out on M street. I didn't want to go down into the bowels of G town on the Whitehurst, although that might have gotten us there faster. I ended up turning on 30th to get to Whitehurst anyway - where we stopped for a pit stop for the puppy!
It was over by the fountain at the waterfront, where we decided to take our nest turn and get on Rock Creek Park heading south. We did and were stuck at that Stop SIGN just long enough to spot what looked like deviants circling near the road ramp. It was near the EXXON station on Rock Creek Parkway at VA Ave, so I made the driving adjustment and parked in the lot just adjacent to the water. There weren't too many cars there… and it only meant crossing 3 lanes of traffic but, what the hey…. We could do it.. since we didn't make trail.
Once we could clarify that th boxes weren't a homeless persons shelter, and that they were actually Coolers, we knew we hit the jackpot and the $2 in the meter was worth it!
We arrived to find the same gaggle of walkers, including a few strays (Hot Leggs, Only 2?, Hasher Humper, Do Lay Me, the Boxes, (or is it the Box-Box's?), Do me next week, Red Snapper, Standard Deviant).
Did anyone ever see Slip Knot? He was last seen with Chappaquick
Dick who was terribly lost. Many people returned to the start but
since there were NO DIRECTIONS HARES THERE … no one knew where to
go…so they left.
Circle Up!
A lovely spot beside an off-ramp of the Whitehurst Freeway, looking
to the open windows of a GWU dormitory. Musta been a girls dorm because
there were no Bud signs or dirty underwear hanging from the windows.
Jag Queen and I watched the FRB's approach the end and waved at them to
go UNDER the overpass. Instead, Cunning Runt and See Dick Run crossed
four lanes of empty (where's the traffic when you need it?) highway to
come into the end. Being only one lane from the end, both CR and
SDR interpreted Jag's hand signals and set a good example for remaining
group of speedsters. Among the leaders was, can you believe it, Rear
Area Security and The Dribbler. For old farts, those two can move
some butt.
VIRGINS
Just Suazanne - who, by the way, never made it back to the circle from
the run. I suppose that will be the last time we ever see her at
a hash……
Grass Stained Balls brought his 2 chitlin's; Just Melanie (who refused to claim he brought her - who was also later seen hitchin a ride home) and Just Mitchell, who smartly acknowledged his dear old Dad.
VISITORS
Daddy's Dick from WH4
ANNIVERSARIES
Got Box (15), Mach 6 (15), Pimp of Sarajevo (15), Penalty Stroke (45),
Microsoft (55), Hasher Humper (55) and sadly, the leader of this group
was yours truly, Fussy Bitch (65). Then, Dual Jizz Bag called in….
Dr. Strange-Glove, who usurped my position as leader with 375 runs!
NAMINGS
Thank God, there weren't any.
VIOLATIONS
They were rank.. and very pathetic. If you're gonna drag me up there every week at least give me something to work with. I can only make fun of how Black Check dresses so often! Speaking of Black Check, I'd like to note something that was forgotten in the trash last week. When BC led circle on the Day of Hogs, down in Montclair way, there was a violation that came from the crowd. In fact, it was an OTHer, I believe.
While I was doing violations, BC asked if I was finished. Before he called for song, someone yelled from the crowd that they had a violation, BC acknowledged them. The heckler claimed, "Does Batman know you stole Robbin's tights?" and the crowd roared with laughter (or maybe it was gas -- I'm not sure). Well, if you don't think it was funny - ask someone who was there.
BC and Got Box? tried to blame Black Box for bringing trouble down yonder where she moved. Before she came to town, there was no prostitution ring at Potomac Mills!
Our resident Porn Star, Well Drilled finished 2nd in a 40 miler and even beat the previous champ to do so.
Butt Plug received a violation for using the excuse "the only reason she came was for BBT" - girl, you gotta get out more often.
Tore Ass took a crap on trail, and just to be sure he'd be covered, his gave his boyitch to Pinky Penis and brought his own TP with him!
Dual Jizz Bags is in need of a date so badly, she came on in on her hands and knees, crawling along, desperate for some male attention. Isn't anyone available and interested?
HARE LINE
767 – March 2 – $50 Bitch
768 – March 9 – Full Metal Balls
769- March 16 - Late Cummer, Bavarian Bush, Milk Money
770- March 23 - And How's Her Bush
771- March 30 - Dual Jizz Bags
772 - April 6 - TWIG, Stained Sheetz, Hashathon w/OTH
773 - April 13 - Rocky Whore, Ass Ogre, Roto
774 - April 20 - Missed Erections and Throbbin Member
775 - April 27 - Hawaiian Puke & Turkey Timer
776-778 MAY 4th - 6th AGM weekend
10 week Countdown (1,682 hours left as Scribes to be precise)
HARES NEEDED
To sign up to hare or offer a transplant, contact muellerr@erols.com
Marathon help needed
Request the help of MVH3 to support this important fluid station at
mile marker 23 on 24 March 2002. It is located at the corner of at
13th ST NW and W St. in the District. Two blocks to the south is
Metro stop "U St/Cardoon" on the Green Line. This fluid station is
programmed for 40 people (helpers pass fluids to runners).
Please arrive at 8:00 A.M for set-up. The first runner arrives at approximately
9:06 A.M. We can depart our station at approx 1:00 P.M.
Request all volunteers to complete a Volunteer Application at www.washingtondcmarathon.com. Select the Volunteer tab to access the form. Please complete the form and submit on-line. If you volunteer, you will be one of 1,333 volunteers.
Please send me an email or call to let me know that you are volunteering
and have submitted an application:
Mike Ford (aka Tore Ass)
1236 N. Utah St
Arlington, VA 22201
(H) 703 465-0936 (if phone is busy leave your name and phone number)
or email mjford@ioip.com
Next Week’s Hash: 2/23/02
Directions to Run #766
Hares: Hawaiian Puke & Turkey Timer
Start Location: Safeway Parking Lot at intersection of Univesity
Blvd & New Hampshire Ave. -- North of Tacoma Park
ADC Map of Montgomery County- Green (PG 37 G 10)
From VA beltway - head North toward Baltimore
Take exit 29 - University Ave East, toward Tacoma Park. Go
2 miles - Pass Carol Ave - Safeway is 1.8th mile on right. If you
hit New Hampshire Ave, you've gone too far.
From DC -
Take N. Cap Avenue North to Hampshire Ave, turn Right. Go 2 miles -
turn Left to University Blvd, Safeway will be on LEFT?