Hash #758: Bloody Mary’s Last $4 Hash
Hares: Wankers Aweigh, Hot Legs, Red Snapper
Start: Barcroft Park, Arlington
Trail Notes:
This morning, instead of live hare, we’re trying on the role of live
scribe. It’s 8:05 am, leaving 40 minutes to write up last week’s trail.
Doesn’t sound like much reading it here, but former scribes (read as, fellow
dumb-asses like Yes D’ear, Stained Sheets, Blank Check and Blazing Straddles)
can attest the bullshit flows mighty slowly some days. Speaking of,
you may recall Mighty Tite’s numerous scholarly interviews re collective
bullshitting during the last presidential election.
Kudos to our hares, oh hell, you can read their names at the top of
the page … go ahead, I’ll wait for you to glance up there. No, really.
I don’t mind waiting. You didn’t do it, did you? All that hard
work they did putting on the trail, the Bloody Mary stop and the great
grub and you don’t even have the decency … thank you. As we were
saying, our hares got the pack off to an early start. Fussy and I
arrived at the start at 10:13 (exactly 166 hours ago, as I write this)
and the walkers were meandering through the slit in the fence separating
Barcroft park from the DMV, Only 2’s snowperson hat a shining beacon leading
the way. Thinking I’d do a quick late sign-in, pay Dangerously Close,
get directions from one of our lovely hares, Hot Legs (that reference was
for the benefit of those of you who didn’t bother to read the hare names
when prompted in the preceding paragraph --- CRAFTY!), Goofy is standing
next to Hot Legs as she describes trail to me and he realizes that I’m
not paying a lick of attention to her directions. He then places
a bet on what time they’ll have to pick me up, lost on trail. Fussy
quickly doubles their wager. (editor’s note: 8:24, environmental
break. Yes, the crap is moving pretty freely now) Wow.
Note to self, the office is out of paper! So, the pack. Yes, the
pack lumbered its way back to the parking lot, ToreAss & Ernie, leading
the way, followed by Milk Money, Missed Erections, Finger-Pickin’ Good,
$2 Head and his virgin, Put It Out, Dr. Strangelove, Cunning Runt, Dr.
Jackass, GBOF and the intrepid Bite Me Elmo. I decided to tag along
with the runners today. That notion lasted, maybe, 50 yards past
the DMV. Once again alone and covered in grease, I met up with Continental
Drip, Loan Shark, Hawaiian Puke, and Fire & Ice shortly before the
Bloody Mary stop. Having sworn off beer the day before (only for
the day mind you and the day was done) I was relieved to find a distilled
alternative. Thank you, Red Snapper (still haven’t read the hare
list have you, CRAFTY?)
Cheap Slut, along with Pay Per View, Heather, and Mellow Foreskin Cheese
gathered around the Bloody Mary stand elbowing out the competition.
Good move. Love Canal showed up just as we were leaving. He
apparently got side-tracked following trail to the On-In. At the
On-In For Sale Or Rent was asked, “should we go look for him?” She
looked at her beer, noticed there were many more beers to be had, and said,
“F* ‘em. He’ll find his way. If not, more beer for us!”
(editor’s note: ooh crap, it’s 8:51) Climbing the hill on Walter Reed, nearing the On-In, we met Speedy Edie going DOWN the hill. Three more runners followed her. Poor bastards. Well, like FSOR said, more beer for us! Woo hoo! Trail, lovingly laid by Wankers Aweigh, both vexed and amused the pack today. Nice job hares. After the On-In Nurse Crotchet once again tossed her dating-advice pearls about holding Late Cummer and several other available harriettes in rapt attention.
For our gratuitous space-filler this week check out this nudy picture
of Dual Air Bags surreptitiously taken after trail in Austin!
(place pic here)
Circle Up!
Virgins: Just Ken, brought by Malibu Barbie, Just Emily and Just Annette.
Visitors: No visitors came until the circle was well over. Then, Currently Bi and Stick Me, Prick Me both from Houston showed up at the On In.
Returners: Just Nicole, Speedy Edie, Burning Bush, Caminito and Just Heather.
Anniversaries: Just Amanda (5), Standard Deviant (35), CRAFTY (35),
Oil of Nolay (45), Rocky Whore (50), Womb Bromb (55), Missed Erections
(75), Rutro (215), Wankers Aweigh (355).
Namings: Our cellular amigo was up to defend his name, which he did
……… poorly! Mr Caminito is the busiest chatterbox at any hash - his
phone rings all the time. He must be so shy, or perhaps he was busy
on the phone that he couldn't give a good explanation of his hash name
to enable the hash to let him keep it. Suggestions were lame also, they
include Special Finger, Well Hung Back, Just off the Boat, Spanish Fly,
Big Watch Little Dick, Evita's Bitch, I'll Pay you Tomorrow, and Belly
Up. Apparently the hash was having an off day, and it must have been
because Dual Jizz Bags wasn't screaming at the top of her lungs as usual….One
should note that JIZZ Bucket would have been a qualified suggestion and
probably one of the better ones! The votes were sad - it was clear
that the group wasn't into it…so, Belly Up is the moniker he's stuck with!
Next Week’s Hash
This is a group exercise. Grab a pen, pencil, or a shard of Oreo and
scratch out the directions to next week’s hash in the spaces below.
Sorry, no directions available at 9:23 am 1/5/02. Consider bringing
our Hare Razor into the circle for down-downs for each piece of pertinent
data.
Cost?
Hares:
Start point:
Directions, from the beltway:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Directions, from ___________:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Dog-friendly? Y
N
Stroller-friendly? Y N
PI a factor? Y N