If it ain’t a live hare, it’s probably a cooked turkey
A Thanksgiving Prayer
May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize,
May your thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.
Hash 753: The Thanksgiving Leftover Hash
Hares: Well Drilled, Dual Jizz Bags, Full Metal Balls, & Womb
Bromb
Start: Trailer Park in Woodbridge…
Guest Scribe while Oil of Nolay stuffed Fussy Bitch, I mean got stuffed with Fussy Bitch: Black Box
Trail notes
It was like déjà vu all over again…
Wasn’t it just last year at the Thanksgiving hash that we all assembled at some parking lot in Woodbridge in the rain with our leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner and had the pleasure of a Dual Airbags/Full Metal Balls/Well Drilled trail ending at Ms. Bags house? Well, if it ain’t broke…
I arrived at the start of the hash at Potomac High School with one of my significant others, Got Box, since my other significant other, Ms. Bags, was already, ahem, “safety checking” the trail. The first person I saw was Dangerously Close who was struggling to put up a tarp to protect the sign-in sheets from the mist that was falling at the time. Hadn’t it just been 24 hours before when we had blue skies, sunshine and high 60’s? Why on the one day when we really wanted to be outside did the weather have to be so sh*tty? I was also relieved to see Byte, who finally realized that the hash was not starting at the Pentagon and thus was there early, and long-time-no-seer, WhereDaFukHawe, who was trying to decide whether to brave the elements or continue to take refuge in his car.
When the hares arrived, I asked Dual Airbags what they were using to mark trail. She said “flour.” When I looked surprised, she said, “Well, we’re in PW county. Dem people here are so redneck that when dey see a white powdery substance dey’ll figure it’s flour. Dey ain’t smart enough to think it might be cocaine or anthrax.” The hares were kind enough to set a walkers’ trail and a runners’ trail: the walkers’ trail was set in white flour; the runners’ trail was set in what looked like regurgitated sweet potatoes. Dr. Jekyll was so grossed out by this that he even toyed with doing the walkers’ trail.
He should have. We had a great time. It was sort of an over-the-river-and-through-the-woods kind of trail. It was very scenic, although damp and, at times, a little treacherous with the wet leaves covering some major rocks. The hares also took us across a busy section of Route 1 where Worldwide and Just Cyane (sibling of Magenta, Lavender, and …), Ass Hopper’s sister, almost became hood ornaments. We even had to get on a long, hard, wet, slippery log. Although I was moving slowly, I started to sweat, but it felt really good when I finished. Oh no, wait, that was earlier, before I got to the hash. But the log on the trail was long, hard, wet and slippery too.
Big Bird Turd spent most of the trail trying to convince Got Box to spend some quality time with me and take me to romantic, far away places on the weekends—Big Bird explained that this had nothing to do with the fact that he and I are neck and neck on the run count list, but that he was merely looking out for my interests. Yeah, right. Since I missed last week’s hash—I was in Albuquerque last weekend meeting the future parents-in-law--Flying Burito mentioned that, when he arrived at the On In, he noticed that across the street, there was an older woman struggling with raking her leaves, and how, within minutes of the pack arriving, a slew of hashers had gone over to help her out and got all of the leaves taken care of. Wow.
Diaper, who joined the ranks of the walkers because of an old knee problem—it’s his knee that’s old, not the problem--told me that he had been asked to pick up a keg of beer for the EWH3 Thanksgiving run, so he made a big effort to get a keg on Wednesday night after work, just to find out on Thursday that EWH3 MisManagement had decided to go with cans of beer instead of a keg. Of course, no one had thought to tell him, so he suggested that they donate the keg to MVH3. It was actually really good beer for a change, so kudos go to the half brains at EWH3. Speaking of EWH3 half brains, just as we were nearing the end of the trail, this hairy beast came streaking by. It was Holy Tit! sporting a bunch of facial hair (I can’t quite call it a beard) running the walkers’ trail. When we reached Dual Airbags house, HT told Diaper that he was going to run back and get his car since he hadn’t had enough of a workout yet! Jeez. Not the right thing to say in the presence of the Queen of the Walkers as HT would find out later.
The best part of the hash was that the walkers made it to the end—and to all of the food—first! Thanks to Dual Airbags and Well Drilled for baking the turkey and the ham, and to everyone for bringing such great food. Thanks also to Hot Legs and Dangerously Close for setting up the food tables. This was one of those hashes when no one left early or hungry.
Circle Up!!
Visitors: Fairy Manilow (San Diego), Nothing’s Tight (New Orleans),
Dixie Queen (OTH), and Just Cyane.
Returners: WhereDaFukHawe, Roll Over Bitch, World Wide, and Ass Hopper.
Anniversaries: Holy Tit! (25), Diaper (25), Only 2? (35), Nurse Crotchet
(135), S’not (150), Hands Solo (235), and Cunning Runt (355).
Violations: Dual Airbags for being so concerned that the decorations
on her draperies were crooked, that she climbed up on a rocking chair to
fix them; Poop Deck for shortcutting and being DFL; Holy Tit! for running
the walkers trail and then whining that it was too short and for wearing
a yellow and red shirt to match his 25 run headband; Nothing’s Tight for
an environmental on trail; Cheap Slut for locking his keys in his car;
Dr. Jekyll for wearing Finger Pickin’ Good’s naming jacket; Byte for doing
a face plant; Loan Shark for being so tired on trail that he caught a ride
to the end; Finger Pickin’ Good for wearing a racing shirt; and Black Box
for handing CRAFTY a picture that was actually of Two Lips in the Bush
(hey, these young studs all look alike to me!).
Hashshit: Nominations were Dual Jizzbags for being so prissy about
the curtains in her house; and Holy Tit! for whining about the walkers’
trail. Holy Tit! mentioned that the last time he got the MVH3 hashshit,
he didn’t return to MVH3 for a year. Needless to say, that got the overwhelming
vote.
Next Week’s Hash
The White Elephant Gift Exchange
It's that time of year again for you to be cleaning out your closets, hitting the thrift stores, and dusting off those favorite gifts from your dear sweet, but eccentric Aunt Martha to bring to the annual White Elephant Gift Exchange Hash.
Because of the huge success of last year's event, we are once again having it at the McLean VFW on Old Dominion Drive at our usual start time of 10 am. The cost will be $20 and will include lots of beer, fabulous food (remember last year's? BBQ by Miller Young, he’s smokin’ them meats again!!), beer, sodas, beer, a really cool giveaway, beer, and, of course, those wonderful white elephant gifts.
For those of you who have never been to a White Elephant Gift Exchange before, this is the deal: bring at least one colorfully wrapped gift that you are willing to give. The more outrageous, sexy, stupid, crazy, the better. And if you can possibly drink out of it, even better. The gifts will be placed in a pile and after the hash--yes, we will have a trail that day--each person will be called forward to pick a gift. Names will be called in the reverse order of how many runs you have--thus, those with the fewest runs will be called first. You get to open your gift in front of everyone and then sit down. The next group of more "seasoned" hashers will be called up. Each of them can either take a gift that has already been opened or chose from the unopened boxes in the pile. If they take a previously opened gift, the person from whom they took the gift gets to chose another one from the pile, and so on until we reach the hasher with the most runs. This is the best hash we do each year—next to Red Dress—so be sure to attend.
On On. Black Box
D-rections:
Take the Beltway (I495) to Exit 13--Georgetown Pike/Route 193 West
towards McLean and Great Falls. Go about 2 miles and turn left on Spring
Hill Road. Follow it 1/2 mile through the first light at Old Dominion and
turn left into the first driveway about 100 feet from the light. Alternate
parking is left at the light onto Old Dominion and the first driveway on
the right about 100 feet from the light.
Run # - Date
760 – 12 Jan 02
762 – 26 Jan 02
763 – 2 Feb 02
765 – 16 Feb 02
766 – 23 Feb 02
767 – 2 Mar 02
769 – 16 Mar 02
770 – 23 Mar 02
771 – 30 Mar 02
774 – 30 Apr 02
775 – 27 Apr 02