Trail notes
Note to self: When Screws Everybody asks if I want to write the trash
for Fussy Bitch this week, it’s a trick question. Mainly, because
it doesn’t matter how I answer, I’ll be writing the trash late on Friday
night and then trying to find a Kinko’s between Centreville and the Deep
South on the way to the hash in the morning. I can handle the first
part, but if there’s only one copy of the trash and you’re passing it around
after you read it, then I obviously didn’t find a Kinko’s.
So, how much do I remember from last week’s hash? Let’s see. We started at a park off four mile run behind the DMV. Between the Boy Scout Troop massing for a Saturday morning bike ride and Tore Ass and Fire & Ice’s monster conversion van, we we’re quickly running out of parking spaces. Flying Burrito was demonstrating his High-Tech flour dispenser and reading the letter he sent to two Police Stations and two Fire Stations announcing his plans to set the trail using flour mixed with red carpenter’s chalk. He was also checking with the walkers to make sure they had exact change for the bus.
Hash Dilemma: When you have to take the bus on the Walker’s Trail, do you really want to run the runner’s trail? Fortunately for Flying Burrito, Pulls Out Early and One Man One Hand the Hashit wasn’t there, unfortunately for me, I didn’t have change for the bus.
The hares were off promptly at 10:00. After a rousing Father Abraham, the pack was off about 12 minutes later. Within the first half-mile, there must have been at least 20 checks. Hashers were running this way and that. The trail wound it’s way through some residential neighborhoods to the NOVA Alexandria Campus and then to Skyline Mall. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. Having scored another great short-cut, Chappquickdick and I picked-up trail through the garage at Skyline Mall. From there, trail wound around the mall to the water stop behind one of the office buildings. (Blank Check had talked Screws Everybody and Fire & Ice to run/walk the runner’s trail. When he announced that it was his office building. F&I promised to come back on Monday and moon his office. I wonder if BC brought his sunglasses to work on Monday.) At the water stop, Byte Lightning, Dr Jekyll, French Toasted and the other FRB’s passed Chappa and me.
From there it was a road race through several other neighborhoods. Somewhere in the neighborhoods, there was a Turkey and Turkey with gravy split. We didn’t know what that meant, but the hares were now really lucky the hashit wasn’t there. At some point, Bushmaster, pushing his son in a racing buggy, passed us like we we’re standing still. (I think we need to let the air out of the buggy tires next week.) But a few strategic short-cuts later, we were out in front of everyone including Byte and Dr Jekyll. That lasted until the last 50 feet and they finally passed us just before we arrived at Pulls Out Early’s house.
As the pack arrived at the On-In, there was a little old lady, must have been in her eighties, raking leaves in her yard. The Holiday Spirit came over several hashers as they ran across the street to help her. There must have been a dozen hashers cleaning the rain-gutters and raking the leaves off the roof and the front yard. Full Metal Balls was supervising this motley crew. This kept them busy while the wieners were being boiled. When the wieners were ready, the hashers came back across the street and left the little old lady to finish the back yard by herself. I guess the Holiday Spirit is a little weak this year.
The On-In was great. Mainly because it was the middle of November and we were sitting outside in shorts and light t-shirts eating hot dogs and drinking beer. What more could you ask for?
On-On,
Poop Deck
ON-IN:
Virgins: no victims this week.
Visitors: Pork Grind from Seoul, Korea, Stickman from Tampa, Master Gator from San Antonia, Mothers Lay from WH4, Docksider and Red.
Returners: Spread Sheets, Captain Titanic, Bush Master, Tore Ass, Pointless, Lazer Shit, Only 2?, Sloppy Ho Pair, Running Bare, and the Dribbler.
Anniversaries: Saddle Up (5), Caminito (5) Twassup (15), Love Canal (25), Short Bus Bitch (45), BOB (45), Flying Burrito (50), DO Me Next Week (65), Dangerously Close (125), Fire & Ice (185), the Dribbler (210), and Dr. Strangelove (365).
Namings: Thank God, we had none!
Violations:
· Head Gear - Dr. Jekyll was wearing a hat embroidered with
Cunning Runt's name. Also, CR lost one of her hats at IAH and didn't
claim it - PPV rescued it and returned it to CR for the mere cost of a
down-down.
· The Readers Digest Vocabulary Builder Award goes to
Big Red for use of the word “Infraction” which she used to describe Burrito's
shrinkage.
· Mother's Lay was stepping into Hollow Point's shoes after
last week. He thought that he was tough enough to break out running
up a huge hill, came strolling into the water check complaining that he
wasn't able to handle much more…. And then showed up at the On In via hash-mobile.
Rocky? I think not!
· During the circle, Caminito's phone rang at least 3 times.
He was also wearing new shoes and complaining about it. The new shoes
caught up with him after the cell phone did!
· Byte got a down-down for showing off his 'junk' to the
ladies.
· Cheap Slut, who doesn't really care about how many runs he
has, has finally met his match. Missing Link and Cheap Slut are tied
in the number of runs, but Cheap Slut takes his gratification from the
fact that he's on top of ML…. Alphabetically, at least.
· Today, we had Romper Room antics. You know something's
up when GBOF is bouncing on the ball with Bite Me, and Hot Legs.
I even saw him do both of them at the same time! Fidelity must be
a bitch! Well, at least he can attest that Hot Legs has enough love
to spread around to more than just Wankers Aweigh!
Other violations I didn't say….. continue reading at your own risk.
If you think they suck… why don't you come up with something better?
Smart ass!!!!!!
· PPV and Milk Money drank for birthdays. (After all these birthdays,
does MM pay the Senior Discount Rate for the Hash?)
· Pussy Galore was cited for wearing a MVH3 100th run
t-shirt to the hash… guess he hasn't been here since the 100th run, 50
years back!
· The Hares were claimed since they had a BBQ grill on the back
deck of Pull's house and he boiled the weenies instead of grillin' them!
· The honeymoon is over for Spread Sheets too. She ditched
her new hubby in favor of hashing this week. He's home sleeping or
cleaning the floor.
· Hot Legs was using her cane to poke up guys shorts to see
if she could catch a glimpse of their junk.
· Blank Check did not look like a fashion disaster.
· Tore Ass registered for VA IAH and forgot he did - in fact,
he didn't even show up! So, Fire & Ice got some very expensive
hash goodies delivered… though, I don't know by whom!
· Running Bare was accused of being the Una-bomber's lost brother,
as he sat eating by himself in the mini-sandbox used for horse shoes. (He
looks like Ted K with a shorter cleaner haircut).
Hashshit this week was up for grabs. Dual Jizz Bags, didn't show up
this week with it. Apparently she didn't want to part with it!
Next Week’s Hash
MVH3 #752
Date: Dec 1st
Hares: BeCuz He Can, French Toasted, 3x Lady
Start: South Reston Parkway South Park and Ride Lot (ADC map 5 Coordinates J-9)
From the Beltway:
Take 267 (Dulles Toll Road) West to Reston Parkway Exit. At the end
of the ramp, take a left on Reston Parkway Left at 5th traffic light into
Park and Hash lot (across from Fox Mill Road) (If you see the Fire Station,
you just missed the turn - make a U Turn at the next traffic light and
join us!)
From Route 66:
Take route 50 north to West Ox Road. Take a right onto West Ox
Road and proceed north. West Ox will become Lawyers. Eventually
Lawyers will take a sharp turn to the right at a light. Do not make
the turn. Continue straight through the light, you will be on Reston
Parkway. Just after the fire station on your left you will see a
park and hash lot on your right.
Dog & Stroller Factor:
Runners Trail Dogs yes on a leash Strollers no
Walkers Trail: Dogs yes Strollers yes
Miscellaneous
Warm clothes and a dry bag for shoes.