Trail notes
Ideas for rambling:
· (a well-hidden military mission: the skippers of Greenwich
Village, protecting the home-front against the rock-hard calves of the
Axis.)
· Cunning Runt obviously had big brothers who loved her very
much. She schemes well and is a friend of testosterone. Offered
suggestions to the skippers that they should be working the WHOLE calf
muscle by skipping BACKWARDS. God bless CR.
· For Sale or Rent discovered that if she removes the spare
tire from her Voll-va, a keg of beer sits in her hole nice and snug
· Arriving late, par usual, we followed a police vehicle which
appeared to be making a bee-line to the gathering wankers. Naturally,
we held back so as to not be associated.
· Late Cummer has taken up astronomy. She was showing
to Cheap Slut and Loan Shark the varied craters of her moon. No wait,
I think that Cheap Slut was just using LC was a study aid for his correspondence
course in proctology. Sally Struthers talked him into it after a
few poos.
· I think Clorox Kid is, secretly, a woman. He was pouring
himself a drink and I said hello to him across the table. He acted
as if he didn’t hear it. I’m so accustomed to that experience of
my voice disappearing in a vacuum between my lips and a woman’s ear.
CK played it so well, he MUST be woman. Some things you just can’t
fake. Take, for instance, Red Dress. A guy in a dress walks
like a guy. Unless, of course …
Trail was really good.. it was pretty. We started in the parking lot, walked over a bridge…. , on a trail. Crossed some dangerous streets….. you know, typical hash stuff.
We walked along a path by Arlington Cemetary and ran into a nice man taking photos of the foliage at the cemetery. On the walkers trail were…..Black Box, Elevator Guy, Sloppy Drunk, Poops in Boots, and H2HO. Also, For Sale or Rent, Flying Burrito, Stained Sheets, MFC, Nurse Crotchett, Cunning Runt, and Whore Moans. I caught up with Do Me Next Week on trail after stopping for a potty break at at Iwo Jima. I lost Oil at Iwo Jima cuz he wanted to stay behind and listen to the Marine Corps Drum and Bugle Corps play.
We landed at the Quarterdeck – after all was said and done. It was a great ON IN for this crowd… and the chow wasn’t too bad either – especially if you cut in line! :P
On-In
Before we started circle….. we did the Marine thing as we have a few of those guys who run with us regularly. I’d like to take a moment or two, and quote from Maj. General Commandant LeJeune from the Marine Corps Orders:
“759. The following will be read to the command on the 10th of November, 1921, and hereafter on the 10th of November of every year. Should the order not be received by the 10th of November, 1921, it will be read upon receipt.
(1) On November 10, 1775, a Crops of Marines was created by a resolution
of the Continental Congress. Since that date many thousand men have
borne the name “Marine.”….
(2) Yadda yadda yadda…not very exciting
(3) In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our corps, Marines
have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors
on each occasion until the term “Marine” has come to signify all that us
the highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.
Virgins: Jeff McHenry who reminds me slightly of Mike O’Meara from the Don & Mike radio show on WJFK here in DC. Now, its been a long time since I’ve seen Mike in person but….. our friend Jeff was a GIANT like Mike complete with beard!
Visitors: Bully from Vail Valley, H2HO from EWH3, Crouching Drag Queen, Hidden Boner from WH4.
Returners: Just David Stoddard, Head Foirst, Pork & Cheese, Aunt Flow, Finger Pickin’ Good, Granny Boulders, and Foul Balls.
Anniversaries: Patty Brewer (5), Cathy Baumbush (5) Rocky Whore (45), Womb Broom (50), Leave it in Beaver (65), Well Drilled (105), B’Cuz He Can (125), Pudknocker & full Metal Balls (295), Blank Check (455) and Quick Drawwers (485).
Namings: Renaming, Pork & Cheese. Did you know that Spam has a new turkey product? Yes, it’s beige. Pork & cheese was forced to defend her title, which she did with relatively little effort. So, as it was put to a vote, she lost and was forced to resign her hash name in favor of something more appropriate – or maybe just less lame! We learned that she is a graduate student studying linguistics. How exciting! ----- Not. No wonder she’s up for renaming. I also know that she runs without swinging her arms much. That’s about all I picked up. Suggestions included Tongue & Keys, Tickle My Ivories, You Go Girl, Cheap Foreign Trick and….Jizz-stickulator. Unfortunately, our RA Dual Jizz-Bags has issues naming anyone “Jizz anything”….so we were cut down in our prime. Formerly known as Pork & Cheese, her new name is The Other White Meat. Hmmmm…. Losing one lame name in favor of another.
Then, we had the monumental task of naming Scott Bair, aka Elevator Guy, or maybe you know him as the future Mr. Ms. Black Box. Now… this was a FUN naming. It’s so easy to pick on Black Box… so by virtue of their intimacy, that transfers to Mr. Box. It didn’t take much to get the crowd started on this one – Scott in a Box, Bair Box, Bair in a Box, What’s in Box?, Box Boy, Box stuffer, Box Packer, Amanda Huginkiss, Stuck in the Box, Going Down?, Otis – the Elevator Guy, and my personal favorite, Blew My Wad on a Box. Unfortunately, again the fates and the RA were not in my favor and Scott was named Got Box?
This is starting to feel like a WH4 hash….. we still had 2 more namings. Now… by this time, there is nothing but crumbs left. We know we still have hashers out on trail, including Cheap Slut, Loan Shark, Granny Boulders, Slip Knot, and our poor naming victims – patty brewer and cathy baumbush. It was near perfect timing that they showed up just before Got Box? was named.
Little did we know… we had the Fiduciary twins of Real Estate and Banking in our midst. As it turns out, Cathy is in Real Estate and Patty is a banker. What a pair?! I’m sure if you’re interested in buying a new home for these low mortgage rates they’d be willin’ to make you a deal you can’t refuse!
Anyway – both were not exactly forthcoming with the personal details, unlike Shellackin’ the Bishop who bragged of his exploits in a church! These 2 ladies were a little more demure about it.
Cathy, the Realtor received suggestions including: Lockbox, Zero Down,
Open House, Have I got a deal for you?, No Money Down, Cum Down, Just Deposit
– No Return, Slum Whore and the winner was…. Quick Closing!
Patty was more difficult, I think. Being a banker among a crowd of nit-wits and half-wits must not be easy. I’m happy if I can remember to reconcile my check book every month! Anyway – suggestions for Patty included Safety Deposit Box, No Deposit/No Return ( hmmmm… where have I heard that before?), Fu*k for a Buck, Premature Withdrawl – and then Oil of Nolay made a suggestion that NO OINE got. Since Bankers and realtors have a fiduciary responsibilities – Oil made a play on words and suggested “douche –fairy” which is like fiduciary – only backwards. It flew about 10,000 feet over Dual Jizz-Bag’s head so - despite the fact that there is a LEGENDARY hasher with this name already, Ms. Patty was named Early Withdrawal.
Violations:
· Sloppy Drunk, Poops in Boots, and H2HO were violators for
skipping on trail. They claimed that skipping was supposed to build
“sexy calves” – Cunning Runt asked, “Where did you read that? The
latest issue of Gullible?”
· The Readers Digest Vocabulary Builder Award goes to
Flying Burrito for use of the word “Jocularity”.
· Hollow Point was noted for being an FRB on the walkers trail
– he passed the lead walkers while humming the tune to “Rocky” as we approached
the Iwo Jima War Memorial and the Marin Corps Birthday Service thingy.
· Ass Ogre was congratulated with a “down-down” for finding
Dual Jizz Bag’s uterus and trying to put it back into its original location.
· Then, there was Cunning Runt and Dual Jizz Bag who were playing
Barbie Hair Salon when Dual finally showed up from trail.
· Phat Guinea was doing push-ups before trail.
Hashshit this week was up for grabs. Much to EVERYONE”S surprise…Aunt Flow managed to steal it away unnoted by Dual Jizz Bags. Despite all the bitching about Wanker’s setting trail without markings for a mile or so…. He didn’t get it, just the nomination! Cunning Runt got nominated but she didn’t get it either. Aunt Flow shoulda been nominated… but we knew we wouldn’t see it again till next month…. So, it’s a fairly safe bet that if we give it to Dual Jizz Bags, it’ll show up again next week. Pretty simple, I think.
Next Week’s Hash
MVH3 #753
Date: Nov 24th
Hares: DAB, FMB, Well Drilled and Womb Bromb
Start: Potomac High School in Woodbridge (Prince William County)
From all points North take I-95 South to exit 156 Dale City/Rippon Landing
exit. Follow towards Rippon Landing. (Stay in the very left hand lane.
If you get to rest area you've fouled up and gone too far). Go to second
light and make a right onto Route 1 South. Follow for about 1 1/2 miles
to the fourth light and make a right onto Four Year Trail. Follow this
around to the first left, make the left and into the parking lot and park
and hash. This parking lot is before the high school so if you get to the
parking lot on the other end sit there and wait. You'll see us run past
you shortly.
Of course, you'll be a late sign in and will have to drink for being
a dumbass.
Dog friendly - No dogs please. We are ending on private property.
Stoller friendly on walkers trail only.