Trail notes
Foresooth!  Across yon dale approacheth thee, young fine wench who beareth three.  What is that?  Could it be?  Three fine ales I can see, one for you and two for me!

OK.  So I won’t make you suffer through any more of that crap.  Fussy Bitch was home sick today so, yet again, you poor souls must suffer through my mindless ramblings.  Here we go … You know the best thing about the Renaissance?  No, it’s not the beautiful art, or the political reforms, the advances in scientific thought, cheesy poofs or the microwave oven.  Nope.  None of that.   Jugs.  Catch your breath with me here brethren.  Aaah, yes.  And here, the Ren Fair, is just the place to have them puppies all served up on a plate.  God bless the bodice.   What better exemplifies life during the Renaissance than the 3 “Rees” – chivalry, ribaldry, and mammories.  Maybe there’s need for but one Ree?

Whomever the hares have been blowin’ to get this great weather we’ve been havin’ the last six or eight weeks, more power to ya!  Today we joined forces with Baltimore-Annapolis (1) because ___ tells us the crabs they have really are for eating, (2) Designer Bush promised to demonstrate her famous “personal” trick w/ three ping pong balls and a pie plate during the On In (she didn’t do it!) and (3) you get into the Ren Fair cheaper when you’ve got a crowd.

Father Abraham, Black Box shouts “I got …” (the following things that came to mind):
· Turtles – that damned scrapple, egg and cheese croissant is wormin’ right though me
· The song, You got, You got, You got what I need!”  it is, after all, Black Box out there
· … another song, “no strings to hold me down, to make me fret to make me frown.  I got no strings, no sir-ree, I got no strings on me.”
· A lot of crazy ideas, 3 cans of string cheese, a jar of chocolate fudge and nothin’ but time …!

And then she sprung it on us, “I got ENGAGED!”  Black Box and Elevator Guy got engaged.  Damn!  EG (btw, that’s not “for example” for English majors of you out there) don’t pussy-foot around!
Ground Chuck, rebounding from his recent bout with light middle-weight, Continental Drip (it’s the weigh-in in his thong that so impresses the judges, usually turning decision matches CD’s way), joined us the walker’s trail today.  I’d not spoken to GC in some time so it was nice to catch back up on the finer things in life.  What are those food groups again?

As we strolled through the children’s soccer game, Flying Burrito and BOB – Battery-Operated Buddy, exchanged stories (well, FB was doing most of the talking) his life in the military, packing across Europe and the finer points of grooming (anyone recall Burrito’s beauty secrets from AGM?).  Big Bird Turd, again w/ Lucy, appeared just on the edge of the woods and joined us on our Chaucerian little jaunt.  Funny you just happened to read the name Chaucer, Full Metal Balls joined us late, saying he had this “festering boil” to tend to.  Next week, if Granny Boulders makes it to the hash, take notice of her nails and hair.  Bet they look really nice, don’t they?  Flying Burrito let it out that GB skipped the hash to get a little pampering.
 

On-In
Mmm.  Smoked turkey legs.  Where are the wolf-hounds?   What goes better w/ smoke turkey than, you guessed it, Oreos.  Hey, Oreos came out of the Renaissance, too, didn’t they?

Virgins:  .Just Mike & Just Martina made her way into the violators circle today via her clothing.  W/ just one letter her shirt spelled out Sloppy Drunk’s alias, Twaazzzzuuuup??

Visitors: Gnome Nuts (Deep River), Just Melissa, Just Cody, Howdy Fuckin’ Do Me, Spank Me, Pacific Rim Job, B-flat (Salt Lake City)

Returners: Southern Discomfort, Hoeshead, Big Dick No Brains, Dr. Livingston, Butt Sucker, Roll-on, Hangman.  From anal Baltimore were Minnie Brew, Hydro Ho, One the Rocks, Designer Bush, Johnnie Cockring, ASA.

Anniversaries:  Big Dick No Brains (5), Bad Ditch (35), Flying Burrito (45), Byte Lightning (395)

Violations:  Although they weren’t called into drink for it, have you realized how competitive and over-achieving these three are?  French Toasted, Byte and Cunning Runt TIME THEMSELVES on every hash.  While we’re not looking, they all get together and make little charts, factoring in the wind, temperature, humidity and how large their dump was that morning.  I overheard that the trio has a running history of several years of this crap.  Where’s my memory when I need it? Another mental lapse, Satan, wearing those Laugh-in tights?  Folks we did get to drink for their atrocities were Byte Lightning, for actually sticking around for once, the tardiness of  Hydro Ho Roll-On, and Johnnie Cockring due to their weekly group-dressing ritual.  Big Dick No Brains revealed his knowledge of allergens during Seaman Sampler’s renaming.  When Two Lips in the Bush told us about SS’s allergy to Meat Loaf’s pussy(cat), Big Dick blurted out, “it’s not the hair, it’s the dander.” Scratchy sends his love, BD.  Short Bus Bitch kept distracting us w/ her cell phone conversation with our perennial media-slut Holy Tit, who, had he shown up, would have been “very happy to be here today.”  Dual Air Bags, suffering from elephant-tightass (they just don’t forget), for still complaining about Austin.

Hashshit:  Battling for the coveted Hashshit today were Short Bus Bitch for her cell-chattiness,  But, for a lack of a better memory, let’s assume Black Box and Elevator Guy got it.  Done.
 

Next Week’s Hash
MVH3 #749  --  Sat Nov 3 10AM
Date: Nov 10th Hash

****** NOTE SPECIAL PRICE *******

Hares: Pinky Penis; Womb Broom; Hot legs; Wankers Aweigh

Cost: $5 and worth every penny of the extra dollar, if only to have a warm and dry on-in

Place: Pentagon North parking, far away from the building and all those 17 year olds with machine guns. ADC map 17 G5

Directions:
From 395 south, take exit 8B and follow signs to Pentagon North Parking -and keep an eye out for rubber neckers as you go by the Wound.

From 395 north, follow signs to north parking as you near the Virginia side of the 14 St. bridge. Go past the Pentagon River Entrance to the far end of the parking lot.

From 66/American Legion Bridge, take GW Parkway to Washington, after passing Memorial Bridge there will be a sign to 395 South - take a left to North Parking immediately after turning onto the 395 South spur.

Metro: You can't get there from the metro so don't even try.

Miscellaneous: Dry bag and dry shoes always recommended.

Dogs & Strollers: Dog friendly only if they don't mind fido being tied up & left outside at the on-in (that goes for stroller occupants also)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

(Scribe’s note:  Had I anything useful or pithy to say, I would have put it here)
 
 
 
 

 
  bsp; Had I anything useful or pithy to say, I would have put it here)