Start: Pan Am Shopping Center, Vienna, VA
Finish: The drainage pond at the Vienna Metro, westbound, off
Nutley Road. Hey, Fussy used to live in these condos!
Zee Trail, notes from Oil of Nolay & other, more respectable folks
Trail didn't suck at 10:02. Father Abraham, the pre-energy crisis
version, got us all loosened up and rarin' to take in a lovely trail.
10:06 we were off, walking (see note re the first five minutes of trail
from last week's trash -- if you didn't get last week's trash, check out
the online version at www.dchashing.org. We've added semi-nudes of
all your favorite hashers and celebs to make the experience more titillating.)
10:11 trail is not sucking too bad at this point. We run out
of the Pan Am Shopping center towards 50. There are a few checks
leading off into the woods prior to 50 from which Put It Out, Hard Drive,
Byte and Dr. Jekyll all emerged, sagely stating, "I think that this trail
might suck!" Little did we know how true these words would be.
Monkey Piss and I began a conversation with Bad Ditch and as the conversation
started to slow, Ditch added, "I don't know about you guys, but I think
this trail is going to suck today." And then she drifted off into
the thick of the pack. Little did we know. The runners and
walkers split and I foolishly chose to take the runners trail, which, I
was told, really sucked. 10:14 we're heading up 50 west, towards
Fairfax City and we take a left into the apartment building next to Merritt
Academy. Latin Analyst stops her sprint long enough to say hello
to Pekoe and me. Hymen Dickover and Bramble Bush both press on into
the woods as Wanks with Wolves pulls up beside us. "You in a big
hurry today?" I ask. "No," she replies. "No sense in
it with all the heat and how bad the trails sucks today, I hear."
And suck it did. Let me turn you over now to other comments:
Near the end of the hash, when the trail turned into the tunnel, I was
walking behind Roto, Stained Sheets, and Pay Per View. Indiana Bones and
Raise My Titanic were behind me. As tunnels go, this was a good one--tall,
wide, flat floor, no spider webs, just a couple of cooling inches of water.
But it was long and it quickly became dark, VERY dark. So Stained Sheets
suggested that we all walk on the left side with our hands touching
the left wall. His theory was if he and Roto tripped, then all of the beautiful
women would fall on top of them. [The guy may be old, but he's sharp!]
Even though Pay Per View was no more than 4 feet in front of me and
wearing a light colored t-shirt, it got to the point when I couldn't even
see that, which was a little scary--I mean, I would have PAID for a VIEW
of anything. When we finally did emerge at the other end, Don't Let
Your Meatloaf was
standing on the concrete steps video taping us, so we all broke into
a run for the camera. We were some of the first ones in--since a number
of the other walkers and runners either missed the hare's arrow into the
creek or turned back when they got into the tunnel--so we helped ourselves
to the great beer and food. So all in all, I thought it was a pretty
good trail. But then, I was in some pretty good company, and isn't THAT
what's
important?
--Black Box
If the walkers' trail was the runners' trail last week, then the Hares
would have been praised, virgins would have been offered to them, and everyone
would have joined in joyous celebration but that wasn't the case here.
The hares must be reincarnations of the Japanese officers that planned
the Bataan Death March.
~ Full Metal Balls
"What did I think of that trail?" Follow along...
9:18 - Arrive early with Hard Drive right behind me. As he exits
his vehicle, he proclaims, "I just passed the hares out pre-laying trail
and they were heading AWAY from start!"
10am - No hares present yet - "What time does this 10 o'clock hash
start?!?"
9:30 - 10:10 - Hares arrive with a "Herbie-the-love-bug" sized car
for bags! DUH! 10:18 - Hands Solo graciously offers his van
as a 2nd bag vehicle, into which, at 10:18, I toss the MVH3 sign-in books.
(see Announcement re getting your asses here a little earlier to sign in)
10:18:15 - Family Jewels approaches me with his $4. asking me about
sign-in. I tell him to see me at the end. He shoves the
$4. at me asking me to hold it because he'll lose it or it will get wet!
10:20 - Everyone FINALLY sets off on trail... me holding FJ's freakin'
$4.!!
11:45 - Walkers, parched and dehydrated show up at the end.
(Hare is busy making a video.)
11:50 - Finish check-in with the final act of putting a Drippy, sweat
soaked $4. that I found mysteriously clutched in my heat swollen hand (I
just can't remember where it came from, my memeory is so blurred at this
point) into my wallet!
~Dangerously Close
“What trail?”
~ Stained Sheets
What did I think of the trail... don't get me going! I started
close to the front of the walkers but my darling pup, Sandy, decided
to smell every blade of grass. By the time we came upon route 50
we were in last place. Together with my niece Kim, who returned to
MVH3 after 2 years, we plodded along wondering why we had brought Sandy.
I was delighted to see so many faces I hadn't seen in a while. Spits
It Out was there and all smiles due to some happy news she'd gotten.
Sticks with Chicks was showing off her new hair-do and Shut the Bitch Up
was graciously kissing her butt, as he ought. They caught up with Rocky
Whore and Domino and I never saw them again. Within moments the only hasher
I could see was Bad Dog. You know what happens when you're left on
trail behind Bad Dog? You don't??? Well, it means you're screwed.
We got lost and wound up in a field where we stooped for a H20 break........was
there even a H20 check on this trail??? Don't get me started!
Suffice to say that when CR, Dr. J, Byte, Hydraulic Jack-off and Black
Check ran by, we knew we were really screwed. Once we hit the road
again, we headed back to the car. Sandy just can't handle a 4 mile
trail with 95% humidity in 90* heat. So we drove around for 45 mins
looking to pick up trail. We picked up MFC but never ended up picking
up trail..... ran into Oil and took on Pekoe, till we gave up and headed
back to the parking lot for the 3rd time. Keilbastard and Porta Potter
were kind enough to explain where trail ended. Kudos to Hands Solo
for leaving a map to the end of trail when he hares!! We wish all hares
were so thoughtful.
~ Fussy Bitch
As a walker that day, I thoroughly enjoyed the trail. It was nice,
shady and very well marked. I was talking so much with [editorial
adjectives added] by our lovely temptress BlackBox and others on the Walkers
trail, that I was actually disappointed when it ended. The only bad
part was all of the disturbingly loud, whiny comments from the pack when
they came off the runners trail...
~ Roto
DUMBASS Hare disease is a contagious VIRUS! OTH4 has their own Gene
Pool of DUMBASS hares.
Xoxoxo,
Dual Air Bags
On-In
VIRGINS (who made them cum):
Just Randy (Fdick)and Just Jeff (Gives Goat Ed)
VISITORS:
Bishop 22 - FLour City H3
Finger Lickin' Good (the chick) - DC
Just Anne - EWH3
Just Steve - EWH3
Just Kerke - Indy Scent HHH
Mini Barbarino - OTH
Returners:
Monkey Piss (MV Hash-trivia question: MP is his WH4 name.
What is MP’s name here at MV?)- now relocated to distant lands (namely
Pissburgh); Gives Goat Ed - Has not cum in several years! Just Kim
- (only run #2) - She was a virgin. Then she didn't cum for over
14 weeks until last Saturday! U.S.Boobs and Oral Report; Raise
My Titanic - overheard saying she was urged to cum because she lives “so
close”; Mach 6 and R.O.B. (Roll Over Bitch)
Anniversaries:
French Toasted - 275
Hollow Point - 215
Rutro - 205 (now 2 runs behind Ms. Box)
Yes Dear - 205 (also 2 runs behind Ms. Box but he does not give
a Sh*t!)
Hymen Dickover - 100
Bite Me Elmo - 85
14 Kt Cock - overdue for 75
Microsoft - 45
Throbbin' Member - 45
Cyclops - over due for 25
Vominatrix - over due for 25
Puss 'N Boots - over due for 5
Mach 6 - overdue for 5
HASH SHIT: No contest. Dual Air Bags – rampant unhappiness. Perhaps we can medicate her?
Next Week’s Hash
Run: # 738
Hares: 'CuzHeCan, MellowForeskinCheese, PutItOut, Vominatrix,
DoMeNextWeek & KeilBastard.
Theme: The Cheesehead Hash we guarantee a Gouda time!
(subtitle, The Bears Still Suck) Hey Der! Be sure to
wear your Wisconsin themed clothing (preferably a
wedge) or come naked. The hares don't mind either
way.
Start: Quincy St Parking Deck, Arlington
Directions: I-66 to Glebe Rd exit. Go North on Glebe.
After crossing back over I-66 bridge take 1st right
on N. 15th St. Parking deck is 4 blocks down on the
right.
Miscellaneous: A to B; moderate PI potential,
increases the further off trail you go; tough dog
approved. No strollers. As usual, bring dry clothes,
shoes and lubricant for your end.
A final thought:
They don’t August the “dog days of summer” because poochies like the
heat. We’ve had several dogs nearly suffer heat-stroke in the past.
Let’s all consider letting Fido stay home and enjoy the air-conditioning
until the heat breaks.
They’ll probably spend the time getting ready for Red Dress.