Run #498, Hares: Dr Strangelove, Cold Sweats
Whovever placed the early order for Spring-time weather, thank you! A warm March wind blew steady across the open top of the Marriott parking garage, where a large gathering of deviants had accumulated. Maybe it was the impending full moon, or maybe it was the unusually balmy weather; whatever it was, four wankers (Your Humble Scribe among them) performed a mass fashion statement by wearing their classic, collectible MVH6 t shirts.
Minutes later the pack was charging down the parking garage stairwell, out into some shiggy woods and then into a neighborhood. Most of the early part of this trail was off-road, through light-to-moderate shiggy. Suddenly there loomed the first tunnel of the day, a real monster burrowing completely under the Beltway. It was damn near pitch black in the middle. Saran Wrap expelled some wicked gas, which the pack behind him appreciated-- fortunately for all concerned, nobody lit a match! Imagine the carnage, if the Beltway suddenly erupted a giant spasm of rock and asphalt from below! Oh well, all's well that ends well... After everyone emerged safely and squinted mole-like into the sun, the pack followed trail leading along a creek bank for about a quarter mile, and then into the creek for the next quarter mile. More tunnels were encountered that eventually wound us back under the Beltway. The water was darn cold, and it had the intended effect of making the feet feel like lead.
Following a sojourn through suburban neighborhoods, the trail led through Luria Park; the grass was so drenched with rain that your feet sunk into it like regular old mud. It wasn't long after that we found trail winding back through woods on back to the Marriott, where sure enough the On In was waiting with snacks and pretty soon, pizza.
Anniversaries: Cheap Slut (365), Blank Check (275), Roto Router (225), Poop Deck (175), Wankers Aweigh (150), Full Metal Balls (95), Milk Money (50), Lady Bugger (25), Inbred Jed (15), Cum Shot (5), Deliverance (5), Bob Coonrad (5)
Virgins: Abir Burgul and Betsy Arends broke their cherries. They even received Virgin Manuals. We'll bring extra copies of the manuals each week until everyone has their own copy, but they go to the virgins first.
Visitors: Paula Gordon and Tony Reynozo
Returners: Spinal Tap, Hasher Humper, Cums In A Can, and Meat Grinder
Namings: Eat Me For Breakfast and Late Comer kept their handles. Chris Wilk, yet another of our growing corps of Marines, was named FTC. You have to be a pretty ballsy Marine to take what this handle stands for. Farts Towards Croatia? Furnishes Tingling Cunnilingus? Fawlty Towers Connoisseur? Only his hairdresser knows for sure...
Violations:
Birthday: Cums In A Can. You've got to admire a guy who comes out to the hash on his birthday, just so he can get his down
downs out of the way and have a few 'free' cold ones.
Late Sign In: Bob Coonrad; we've got to name this guy next time he runs-- so how are we supposed to name him if he's late???
Fashion Statement: Hard Drive, Roto Router, Blank Check, Steamer. Hard Drive performed a quick change at the On In, in a vain attempt at avoiding his proper down-down. Alas, he changed into an MVH3 t-shirt, which the quick-thinking Roto and Blank rapidly purchased from the Habs. Thus foiled, Hard Drive reluctantly performed his down-down to the delight of his co
infractors.
Hashit
Despite my remonstrances in last week's trash, Spread Sheets was able to successfully unload the hashit onto Stained Sheets. How this happened, I'm still not sure-- it's sort of like last November's election, I can't explain it. The hares were perfectly good candidates in their own right, and a case could be made that instead of nominating Stained Sheets for signing in as an inactive hasher, we should bring up the On Sec for having his name appear erroneously! Regardless, I'm sure Pit Stop will have another opportunity to carry the torch soon. Maybe it's for the best to let Stained Sheets hold it-- like I mentioned last week, there aren't a whole lot of people who HAVEN'T carried this hashit in the last 18 months. If you want to take a turn, just talk to Stained Sheets-- I'm sure he can arrange something for you.
My Work Here Is Done.