Hazukashii, Seldom Cums, and Wet Nuts provided excellent directions-- the simpler, the better. I almost thanked them for accommodating us by having the start so far north (at least compared to Quantico, that is); I chided myself at the end for almost being nice unnecessarily-- for this was to be a truly shitty trail! Think about it: we've hashed this section of Annandale/Burke/whatever you want to call it more than any other area, but the hares somehow managed to manipulate things so that it felt like we were in the boonies with nowhere to seek help (or a shortcut). To summarize, this morning started out friendly and innocent, which is the opposite of what the trail turned out to be!
Our returners were led by the intrepid Hash Astronaut Re Entry. Tore Ass arrived by bicycle looking like the Michelin man in his insulated bike gear. He reported that Fire & Ice was in bed-- let's tuck that factoid away for future reference, so that she drinks for such wankerly behavior!
For the second straight week, Hairy Buddha failed to bring the hashit, claiming that it is his 'good luck charm', and as such he does not want to relinquish it. I tried to explain that you can't simply decide to replace the hashit-- there is too much history and sentiment attached to this revered vessel. And even if you ARE audacious enough to replace the hashit, replacing it by definition implies that you bring SOMETHING ELSE in its place! Alas, I'm afraid this was all lost on the Buddha, whose only argument continues to be that the old hashit is his 'good luck charm'. Somebody explain how we got ourselves into this mess!!!
Re Entry helped lead the Father A, while Byte continue to deny his ho-nesty. We took off in the direction that the hares left in (who says hashers are stoopid?), soon running into a check that outfoxed the first third of the pack. We rounded behind the shopping center, and started our sojourn into woods, suburban neighborhoods, and some delightfully intense shiggy.
Highlights of this trail included a romp through a vast industrial park complete with a giant elevator. A baffling check was placed near the center of this complex, leaving only a great emptiness to search into. At another point, trail led down a precipitous slope where numerous hashers tried finding an easier way 'round, down to a tiny creek, and then back up through deep leaves and briars. Did I mention this creek serves as a dumping ground for the less environmentally aware residents of the area? I counted no fewer than five oil filters on the way down to the creek, two on the way back up. Maybe the hash could qualify for superfund money to help identify more places like this-- we could stop charging every week!
The hares challenged us even further by taking back & forth over a creek for about a quarter mile. If you just stayed to one side of the creek, you could avoid getting wet-- you never had to cross it, but you did have some fair shiggy to navigate through to stay dry.
We finally came out onto Braddock Rd and On In to the parking lot of a hibernating golf club. The weather cooperated for once, and although it was cold and breezy, the sun shined warm upon our gathering. The hares provided a sumptuous feast of chicken and pork barbecue, and we started the Circle.
For those of you new to hashing this area, here are some things to keep in mind:-
We try to hold cold weather On Ins indoors, but this isn't always possible. Be prepared for cold and wet by bringing a change of dry socks, shoes, shirt, jacket. Or alternatively, shiver miserably while awaiting a ride back to your vehicle.-
Poison ivy doesn't go underground during the winter. Take the same precautions with contaminated shoes, socks, and tights during the cold weather as you would in the warm. Or alternatively, scratch miserably in your dermatologist's waiting room.-
Hypothermia isn't fun at any time. You are in trouble if you are shivering; don't make it worse by ignoring it, drinking 'through' it, or falling asleep. Tell somebody (anybody) in attendance, they will help you find dry clothing to borrow (expect to wash these articles before you return them).-
Hash safe, and hash often.
The Circle
Tore Ass, who was the best-insulated person on the North American continent, opined, 'This is better than sex!' Keep in mind that Tore Ass's idea of 'good sex' involves a block of ice...
The Hares Hazukashii, Seldom Cums, Wet Nuts
Anniversaries
Dr Jekyll (195), Toxic Cock (75), Milk Money (45), Robin Everett (5), Beam Me Up (5). Dr J whined: 'I had to drink for no reason at all!' Every convict is an innocent man, Dr J!
Virgins Chris Wilkin, Trevor Wilkin
Visitors Grim Rimmer of the San Francisco Gypsies
Returners Continental Drip, Re Entry, Tore Ass, Yes Dear, Penis, Marilyn Drucker
Naming Seldom Cums' name was retained
Violations
New Vehicles- Steamer, No Class, See Dick Run
LSI- Burnt Sox, No Genitals
Wearing Shorts in Winter- Running Bare
Whining (cold, too far, small dick)- Well Hung
PDA- No Genitals, Thad
Mechanical Advantage, New Booties- Tore Ass
Autohashing- Seldom Cums
No Beard, No Hashit, No Excuse- Hairy Buddha
We sang a warp-speed Swing Low, and went on our merry ways.
My Work Here is Done.