December 7th, 9:00am, as I roll out of bed and look out the window, all I see is rain. Surely, the hares Pitstop, Inbred Jed, Toxic Cock and Marilyn have planned for an indoor ON-IN. This is the beginning of winter, and no hare in their right mind would end outdoors. But then again, we're talking about hashers, so just in case, I packed my run bag full of extra dry warm clothes (I've been taking lessons from Blank Check on how to pack a run bag and managed to stuff everything inside without going over the 70 lb. weight limit.) I loaded my bag and Dahlmer II (Feel free to thank Kimo, I want to lay you for our new Dahlmer
size replacement cooler, especially when you have to load it full of beer and move it somewhere.) into the Poopmobile and made my way down to Woodbridge and the Burke Center Parking lot. Despite the cold, rainy weather, many of the Mount Vernon All-Weather Hasher Award winners showed up. Overbooked arrived at the parking lot becoming an All-Weather Hasher nominee, but quickly left before the hash started saying something about having to do some Christmas Shopping. (Whether this is a drinkable violation or not depends on what she actually buys for the MVH3 Joint Masters. Remember, Hard Drive and I can be bought, buy we're not cheap.)
The hares were off at 10:00 amid shouts of "Rubber Chicken". The hares somehow managed to escape the traditional Rubber Chicken Down-Down for missing directions in the prior week's trash. This will be dealt with quickly as I'm sure that the Rubber Chicken will make an early appearance at the MVH3 Annual Christmas Hash. As we watched the first few marks wash away, we shortened Father Abraham, finished Byte's a Ho, and started after the pack.
Trail started down towards the little town of Occoquan and then onto 123 north over the river. Now the smart thing to do would have been to turn around and shortcut to the little bridge on the other side of town, but being a hasher with only half a mind functioning, I followed the pack over the bridge and up a small hill and then back down a frontage road to the other side of the little bridge on the other side of town. Here, the hares had set up a Jell-O shooter stop (OK, maybe it was worth running around this loop.). After the Jell
O shooter stop, trail led back over the little bridge to Occoquan and up heartbreak hill. After about fifty million miles of running uphill, trail led to a check on Old Bridge Rd about 200 yards from the start. At this point the rain was doing a pretty decent job of washing away the trail. Blank Check, Wankers Away, and Running Bare appeared out of nowhere claiming to have run past a BT and were returning to check the other directions. (I saw the BT clearly marked, but didn't want to ask what exactly they were doing in the woods.) We followed trail up Old Bridge Rd to a small shopping center where the trail then looped back around and headed back towards the start.
A couple of zigs and zags later, we ended at Inbred Jed's apartment. When I arrived, the apartment was filled with hashers drinking beer and eating chili. With this combination, Inbred Jed left all the doors and windows open for ventilation. We circled up on the balcony and proceeded with the down
downs.
Down-Downs
The hares: Pitstop, Toxic Cock, Inbred Jed, Marilyn
Anniversaries: Cheap Slut, Poop Deck, Dr. Jekyll, Wet Nutz, others I think, maybe
Returning Hashers: Lady Bugger, Gumby-No-Pokey, Blank Check, Running Bare
Late sign-in: Don, Hawaiian Puke, Cheap Slut, Late Cumer
Violations: Cunning Runt - Being solicited in the bathroom at Mc Donald's before the run.
Lady Bugger - Being hit by another car and arriving without a On-On foot sticker on her brand
new replacement bumper.
Dual Air Bags - Quitting her current job in hopes of getting her old job back, before actually
getting an offer from her old job.
Naming: In the tradition of Mount Vernon, hashers are named after 6 runs. Since Camel Jumper already
had a name, he had to tell how he got it, and if the pack liked the story, he can keep his name. He
told a boring story that the pack didn't like about hashing in Bahrain and jumping over something
and landing in a camel carcass. As he ran through it, he lost his shoe in the camel's rib cage. So,
henceforth and forevermore in the Mount Vernon Hash House Harriers and throughout the world
of hashing, he will be known as Spare Ribs.
Temporary Naming: Byte Lightning is haring the Christmas Hash on his 200th run. And, since everyone
knows that Byte's a Ho, he will be known this week as Ho-Ho. You know, a skinny
brown chocolate cake with the white creamy filling.