We had our first cool day since March - cool enough that the assembled masses (about 35 dedicated hashers that had braved the I 95 trek South through the promised land of Prince William) actually took time to consider what to wear at the start. Most opted for long sleeve shirts and shorts. The hares, QUICK DRAWERS and HEART ON were off in a cloud of windblown flour at the appointed time. Your loyal Deputy Junior Under Assistant Sub-Scribe, Pro Temps (DJUASS,PT) was tapped to do the chalk talk but there were neither Virgins nor First Time MVH3 hashers so I handled the job flawlessly by not doing it at all. 'ATHER ABRAHAM was led by DR. JEKYLL and CUNNING RUNT, but CUNNING RUNT became confused even earlier than normal in a hash and drifted in and out of DO THE HOKIE POKIE, but no harm resulted and hash aerobics were completed on schedule with the ritual BYTE'S A HO.
We stared walking and enjoying the clear sunny day crossed the main drag and then dove into the woods for the only little bit of shiggy encountered all day long which we encountered at the first check. We climbed over a tank trap composed of fallen timbers and slabs of concrete then along a path to some back roads and then the race was on. I don't know whether it was because there were no checks, or if it was because of the few checks the hares did lay were so easily solved by the front runners before the pack encountered them
It was one long four mile sprint to the finish next to the school from whence we started over country roads and through suburban neighborhoods (more on these later). For whatever reason it seemed to be all down hill with the wind, i.e., not terribly strenuous, however, the pack was segregated into groups by speed. This incidentally always seems to be the case whenever I'm scribing, but with help from some stringers I'll try to cover the activities at both ends of the pack.
From the front:
According to BLANK CHECK when the trail went forever down the aforementioned country roads to the point where all concerned thought it was just a road race until it turned into some nice wooded paths where the FRBs actually came upon a check that worked. While BYTE and DR. JEKYLL were out checking; and BLANK CHECK claims that he, CUNNING RUNT, and HARD DRIVE while also checking (B.S. they were check hanging just like we do in the back of the pack) started a hash movie review with appropriate kibitzing by SEE DICK RUN and NO SHIT EINSTEIN ( incidentally EINSTEIN means ONE ROCK in German). Again, according to BLANK CHECK, nothing germane was said he was just amused at the timing of the movie review.
CUNNING RUNT has a different story to tell about the same incident. According to her,"That damned BLANK CHECK takes nuclear war too seriously. We were all check hanging when BLANK CHECK got all in an uproar about the movie 'Broken Arrow' being unrealistic. He claims that the movie didn't show the right way to steal nuclear weapons, apparently he has some in his basement and that's not the way he got them." Well alrighty then!
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For those of you curious about whether or not BLANK CHECK, or for that matter PIT STOP or yours truly glow in the dark come to the halloween hash on that we will hare on Saturday October 26 at 7:00 P.M. It's a joint Full Moon/MVH3 costume hash where for $10 will get you all the beer/soda/food you can drink/ignore/eat, starting at West Springfield High School.
Now for an area I am more familiar with:
From the back of the pack:
I ran the first third of this wandering not quite aimlessly, since I had the far off but delightful rear of EMPTY FOX HOLE to aim at, but by myself. About a mile and a half in, I either caught a group, or more likely, they waited for me. I ran the rest of the way with EMPTY FOX HOLE, BRIAR BUNS, POOP DECK and KIMO, I WANNA LEI YA. Thank God I caught up with them in time because we entered the dreaded territory of upper middle income suburbia. The wide streets and large single family dwellings should have clued us in but the first hint we had was the smell of barbecue smoke. We were immediately surrounded by smiling friendly people waving hello and offering us grilled hot-dogs. We would have been doomed to certain capture and life as well adjusted members of society except for the fortuitous circumstance of EMPTY FOX HOLE running with her vicious attack dog. We huddled next to it for protection and actually picked up speed to get out of there and back among our own kind. Whew!! And the White House
e thinks they run in some dangerous neighborhoods.
Barely escaping with our degenerate lives intact we quickly came to the down-down where MRS. QUICK DRAWERS was doing her wizardry on the barbecue grill. Getting a hot dog from a confirmed hasher was much more appropriate for this curious crew than accepting the invitation from the devilishly clever and extremely dangerous suburbanites.
About a half hour after my back of the pack bunch got in, BEEZER sprinted around the corner heralded MISSING LINK'S late arrival. After all the bitching I hear from time to time in the back of the back over trivial issues its nice to talk to a true hasher:
SS - What happened LINK, you get lost?
ML - Hell no! I knew where I was all the time I just couldn't get to the trail.
SS - Huh?
ML - It was my own damn fault. I tried to short cut and saw the FRBs on the trail but I had a swamp between me and them with chest high water. I had to decide whether to navigate the swamp with a dog that would be trying to get away from me or try another short cut.
SS - And?
ML - Short cut number two ended up being blocked by too many fences.
SS - So?
ML - So I ran damn near the whole trail twice. I loved it.
SS - Who wouldn't?
Miscreants:
HARES - HEART-ON and QUICK DRAWERS
ANNIVERSARIES - QUICK DRAWERS -305, DR. JEKYLL-185, DUAL AIRBAGS -95, FRENCH TOASTED-69.
RETURNING HASHERS - EMPTY FOX HOLE, ROBERT GEYER, HEART-ON
VIOLATIONS - BYTE -Falling on trail.
DUAL AIR BAGS - Leaving Beeper
CUNNING RUNT - New job
MISSING LINK - Lost
RACING - JEKYLL/BYTE
LINK/BEEZER
During the violation down-down there were so many derivative down-downs (you know one hare drinks all hares drink and one grand master drinks all grand masters drink, etc.) that we got everybody but JOSEPH up to drink.
We then did an extraordinarily rare seated SWING LOW and then dispersed heading North.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: HALLOWEEN HASH SEE ABOVE
Sweats for under $35.
EXTRA BONUS COVERAGE:
DR. JEKYLL and CUNNING RUNT threw a Mountain Bike Hash on Sunday in Reston. I attended along with MISSING LINK, SLICK SLIT/LICKETY SPLIT, FULL METAL BALLS and his friend KEVIN. What a wonderful time. It was about 12 to 15 mile effort that kept KEVIN and me out for about an hour twenty (we took the Turkey trail) and with ML and SS/LS following us by about ten minutes on the Eagle trail. FMB has his own story to tell of this event and I will let him do exactly that. The trail was about evenly divided between hilly roads, hilly bike paths, hilly woodland paths, and hilly shiggy and was an extraordinary work out but at the end, strangely enough my knees, ankles and bone spurred heels did not ache but my muscles did. Bizarre!! LINK, FULL METAL, and SLICK all had to wait for KEVIN and me occasionally but they didn't seem to mind and I was grateful for the consideration. We ended up at Chez CUNNING RUNT and her comic relief DR. JEKYLL for beer and hot dogs and rehashing the trail on the deck . Not a bad wa
y to spend an early Sunday afternoon. If anyone is interested in getting into Mountain Bike Hashing see one of the aforementioned and we will see what we can do.
If you don't share the dirt on your fellow hashers (truth not a requirement) then you're forced to read what I see and find out on my own.
ON-ON
STAINED SHEETS
Deputy Junior Under Assistant Sub-Scribe, Pro Temps