RUN # 473 POST HURRICANE FRAN STUMBLE and FALL
The Post hurricane run had really great beer. I don't know if anything else need be said. Congratulations to the hares BLANK CHECK, PIT STOP, and DUAL AIR BAGS.
For maybe only the second or third time this year the pack was very late in arriving. It seems we have a more difficult time navigating to sites within ten miles of where most of us live than the far away exotic locations like Reston or Bethesda. For this reason our esteemed mismanagement delayed the hares for about ten minutes which was good because they were still trying to decide on the trail since not one of them had apparently run the whole route even once. Oh well. During this delay MILK MONEY arrived parked at the bottom of the hill at the entrance to the cul-de-sac and walked up the hill to the start at chez DUAL AIR BAGS some how managing to set off every car alarm she passed. Great Entrance MILK MONEY!
Eventually mismanagement judged the time right and sent the hares on their merry way - so, off they stumbled down hill - still arguing over where the trail should go. Fortunately they had already accomplished the most important hare duty - they had great beer chilling in the hash coolers.
Heard from ROTO ROUTER: Do you know the difference between Mick Jaeger and a Scotsman? Mick says,"Hey you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says,"Hey McCloud get off of my ewe."
The lethargic pack just milled around with no great show of enthusiasm. This surprised me because I figured that since HURRICANE FRAN had blown through on Friday most of the group had probably not run and should have been eager to start. Quick discussions with WANKERS AWEIGH, SLICK SLIT, and RUTRO however determined that this was not the case. Just like me, everyone I talked to had run on Friday during the hurricane and was feeling mellow in the mild weather but had noted the rising heat and humidity and just wanted a laid back run. I guess there is some perverse logic in this - the worse the conditions are the more likely a hasher is to run in it.
To try to build some enthusiasm POOP DECK tapped WIDE OPEN to lead 'ATHER ABRAHAM. Unfortunately our normally hard charging WIDE OPEN mirrored the mood of the day and gave a rather desultory performance with the pack following meekly along.
Since we all knew this was an A to A run, after watching our lack luster performance with 'ATHER ABRAHAM HARD DRIVE was afraid that if we were given time to think we might all just start drinking and never run - so he started us early in pursuit of the hares.
The clever hares managed to keep the pack together for all of 5 minutes with their first two checks but this was enough to send MISSING LINK and RUNNING BARE off by themselves down the powerline cutout never to be seen again. The rest of the pack figured out the back check and rounded the first turn together, however, from here on it was a race. The pack got more and more strung out with the few checks having limited effectiveness in keeping the pack together.
Some days this is just the way it happens. The trail was pleasant enough, wandering through the neighborhood then through some woods to a water stop by a small barn. From there we terrorized the late morning drivers on a two lane thoroughfare and then dove into a Christmas tree farm and then back into the neighborhood. I was running most of the time with BAVARIAN BUSH, FOUL BALLS, MILK MONEY and two or three other confirmed back of the packers with no sight or sound of the rest of the pack for most of the day.
No big deal the trail was well marked and close to five miles long I would guess, but I didn't see anybody do anything really stupid and nobody would rat on their buddies.
At the DOWN-DOWN the miscreants were:
HARES: BLANK CHECK, DUAL AIRBAGS, PITSTOP.
ANNIVERSARIES: christine moreland (5), MAXIMAN (5), FLY THE FRIENDLY THIGHS (15), LADY BUGGER (15), SEE DICK RUN (15), FRENCH TOASTED (65), TOXIC COCK (65), WILLBURR (75), MUDBUNS (100), SLICK SLIT (185) and ROTO ROUTER (215).
VIRGINS: sean murray, linda mcshane
VISITORS: INBRED JED from San Diego,
RETURNING HASHERS: COX IN
VIOLATIONS: SLIPKNOT - New Wreck - apparently a bicycle t-boned SLIPKNOT'S newest cheap foreign imported car and crushed the driver's side. Both SLIPKNOT and the bicycle were unharmed.
BYTE LIGHTNING - Walked to the start from his house seven doors away.
DUAL AIR BAGS - Using an innocent hasher (oxymoron) as a trash can.
mike kearney - Late sign in.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: We're looking for hares for next year's National Capital Red Dress Run. Contact ROTO ROUTER (703) 425-7946
Stained Sheets, Junior Deputy Under Assistant Scribe, Pro temps.
Rerun from 5 years ago:
WITH APOLOGIES TO RUDYARD KIPLING:
IF
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust the flower when all men doubt you; but make allowance for the doubting too;
If you can check and not be tired of checking, Or disbelieved and not deal in disbelief,
Or being fooled don't give way to fooling, and being hurt surrender not to grief,
If you can hash - and not make hashing your master. If you can race - and not make races your aim,
If you can meet true trail and long BT, and treat these two imposters just the same;
If you can see the trail you've laid well, twisted by virgins to trick the pack like fools,
Or watch the trail you scouted for a month, washed away, and lay a new one with worn out tools.
If you can stake your entire lead on one down hill check, and risk it to the luck of a coin toss.
And lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breath a word of your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "ON-ON!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or run with Kings nor lose the common touch
if neither slows nor speeding hares can hurt you, If all hashers count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds run to the end,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a hasher my friend !
STAINED SHEETS, MT. VERNON HASH HOUSE HARRIERS MARCH 12, 1991